Alchemist: Be Thou for the People
by RoninSenshi
Summary: Four months have passed since Winry's death. The Ishbalan terrorist situation grows ever darker, and the Fullmetal Alchemist lays in grief and in the collar of the military. SEQUEL TO REDEMPTION.
1. Dog

1) Yes, I know the ending to Redemption was confusing, that's the way it's supposed to be.

2) How dare you think I would end it without giving a reason for her death (this equals bad writing).

3) Everything will be explained/fixed by the time this story ends.

I know I said I'd have this up last Tuesday, but the thing is I thought of kinks that needed reworking. I would have posted sooner, but I went to New York City and the Marriott where I stayed cost $20 a day to use their internet. Screw that, I'm freaking poor. Never pay to use a hotel's internet, especially at something like the Marriott. If you're going to pay that much money to stay at that hotel, internet access should be free. Go down to Starbucks instead. (I would've, but I did not favor the idea of marching my laptop through Times Square). Anyway, the first chapter.

* * *

Roy Mustang organized the swarm of State Alchemist applications. He grinned slightly at the scores. He had a meeting in a few minutes with the only alchemist to pass the exam this year. Considering the family gift, Alphonse Elric's scores were not surprising. What Roy had not expected was for Al to take the exam. Roy assumed Al would want to take care of Edward, his brother.

Mustang threw the papers down. He would not be able to finish his work today. He could try, certainly, however...

It had been four months since the funeral. Edward Elric's state had not improved since the day she died. Changed, yes, but not improved. Edward was quiet, soft-spoken, never argued or shouted. He was not sulking exactly, nor mourning even. He was, in Roy's opinion, the living dead. He was quite unlike the brash child Roy met seven years ago. Ed had not done anything to let off steam. He had not cried since the day of the funeral, not yelled, not done something stupid, had not even gotten drunk (Roy had encouraged this once or twice). Though the last one may have been a near call. According to Al, Ed threw out all the alcohol in his house.

Another thing Roy found interesting was that Edward now took daily care of his automail. When he cleaned it there was the tiniest trace of a smile. That was the closest he ever came to one, save to the faces of his children. Ryan and Anna had changed as well. Ryan no longer looked at alchemy books; that was now Anna's hobby. Ryan spent much of his time watching Pinako make automail. Again, this was all on Al's authority.

Right. Work. Over the months, Al had started to reveal himself as a student of biological alchemy. Perhaps it was a lingering desire to return Ed's original limbs, or just because Al was the doctor type. Anyway, Al was proving to be exemplary at it. Roy should pick a name in that direction. He tried to think about Al's personality and abilities and guess what alias he had been given (Roy had not looked). The Gentle Alchemist.

Roy laughed aloud. That was a stupid name. He stopped laughing and dropped his head to his desk. Another thought jumped into his brain. They received word yesterday that the Ishbalan terrorist group was beginning to test their devices. Roy wondered vaguely why the Ishbalans would want to use science since they hated it so much. Maybe they saw it as using God's natural elements to give the military a bloody nose. Who knew, honestly...Scar had used alchemy after all. Roy really did not know what they were thinking. It was probably more about revenge. At any rate the military's bloody nose was hemorrhaging. Two State Alchemists had been killed in the last three months.

Hang on a moment...He glanced over Al's scores again. Oh yes, Al had made many mistakes. There was no way to pass him. He would not pass, and would not be killed. Imagine Ed if Al died under Mustang. He'd be furious! Well...no, probably not. Roy did not like to think of what Ed would do if Al died.

Roy kept hoping time would heal Edward. Roy was getting to the point where he could think back on Winry and smile at a distant memory. But what Ed said that day was right,

"_She wasn't your wife."_ How could Roy possibly know how it felt? How would he feel if he lost someone like that? What would it do to him if he lost...No, he could not think of anyone.

"Colonel," Riza poked her head in, "Al's here to see you."

"Hm? Oh, alright." He said this nonchalantly, even though these days he experienced an unwarranted spike in temperature when Riza spoke. He brushed the feeling off as usual.

Al stepped around the corner. He had a certain bounce in his stride. Good Lord he was tall...

"Someone told me I passed." said Al in a slightly sing-songy voice.

"Who?" Roy wanted to kill whoever it was that destroyed his 'Al's not becoming a State Alchemist' plan.

"General Armstrong." answered Al happily. On second thought, he did not want to go up against Armstrong.

"Right then, here you go." Roy handed Al the silver State Alchemist watch reluctantly, knowing that sooner than later the 14-year old boy in front of him would be called to the fields of battle.

"And my name? I've been curious." Al held out his hand.

"Oh, right." Roy gave him the letter. Al opened it excitedly; his eyes scanned the words quickly.

"What is it?" said Roy, he was curious as well. Al grinned.

"The Lifeblood Alchemist." Roy smirked too. It was fitting.

"Probably because of the biological skills you showed during your exam." Al nodded.

"Probably."

"It was very impressive." Roy told him. "You healed the cat completely in less than five minutes."

"I hadn't planned on it. But thanks."

'How's she doing anyway? You took her home, right?"

"Yeah, I named her Aida. She's happy, Ryan and Anna love her."

"I bet." Roy chuckled. An uncomfortable silence fell between the two. Roy could sense that Al knew what was coming next in the conversation.

"Al," he began carefully. He wanted to ease his way onto the subject of Edward, but he was not quite sure how to do it. There was something he had to ask.

"Alphonse...how are you?" Roy ended up saying. Al thought for a moment then said slowly,

"I'm...okay. There are times I've caught myself laughing at something she said or did, so I guess it's better."

"And Fullmetal?"

"The same as you saw a month ago. He's completely numb." Roy laced his fingers in front of his face and his tone grew darker. He hated that he had to ask.

"There hasn't been a fuhrer since King Bradley. The country is in political turmoil. The people are beginning to resist every military effort. Along with the terrorist cell...As I related four months ago, we need a neutral body to bond the military and the people."

"I see." Al interrupted, "My answer is 'no' Colonel."

"Al, if the people start openly resisting the military, or if the Ishbalans attack...we're heading for another civil war!" Mustang argued.

"I will do everything in my power as a State Alchemist and as the brother of the Fullmetal Alchemist to reestablish the bond between the military and the people." Al's voice remained calm, did not rise up to Mustang's intensity.

"Bradley kept us constantly at war with neighboring nations. If and when Amestris suffers open internal strife, it is very likely that the peace treaties won't hold. We will be plunged into a very long, very bloody war!"

"I _will not_ ask my brother to become a dog of the military again, especially now. Obviously you won't either which is why you're asking me." Again, Al's voice did not rise, but it was strong, firm and relentless.

"I know you'll do everything you can Al, but Edward has the skills and most of all, the people's trust." Roy pressed, "It's your duty as a State Alchemist—" Al finally crossed into anger.

"It's my duty as a brother to help him, not make him feel worse!"

"If it's bad now, think of how he'll feel when Ryan and Anna are killed in a terrorist attack!"

"Colonel, you have a message." Riza announced, smirking slightly. Roy was going to kill the very next person who smiled at him.

"Sorry to interrupt sir, I have an update from the Investigations and Mechanical Studies Department."

"Fine! Put it—" It took Roy a moment to recognize the voice because he had never thought to hear it in that context. Al stood stalk still, his lips moving wordlessly.

Edward Elric had just entered the office. He was fully clad in the blue military uniform, a silver chain dangling from his left pocket. His hair was cut, though it was difficult to tell how much because it was once again braided. Edward's uniform held numerous commendations, but according to the pips he was only a lieutenant. The only other difference to the uniform was a small plate on his collar with the snake and cross symbol carved into it.

So much for not letting off steam.

* * *

Dude, if you have not seen Vic and Travis (Ed and Roy's english voice actors) in person or on youtube, go search now. Travis is hilarious and Vic is just plain awesome (I'm a Ranger). If you don't want to sift through all the videos, my screen name is RoninSenshi on youtube as well, search for me and you can watch it all on my favorites. I have gone through all the pages. At the very least, make sure you see/hear Vic saying (in Ed's voice):

ROY MUSTANG IS DEAD SEXY...IN A MINI SKIRT!

I am not a fan of Roy/Ed, I personally think they have more of a weird father/son relationship, but that's just too damn funny. I do enjoy joking about it. And if you have not seen a picture of Vic or Travis...get to google images right now. They are...wow. Vic's site is Travis does not really have a site, but he does have a fan following dubbed 'The Miniskirt Army'. Search for them if you're interested.


	2. Hint

It's occured to me more than once that the title 'Redemption' doesn't really fit the last story well. So I made it through twisted logic. Ed and Al get back into the alchemy world. Roy comes back from obscurity. Ed finally finds out about le children. So it's all kind of redeeming in a sense. Plus, I was tired when I posted it and I'm like, "What's a cool-sounding name? Redemption!" Yeah.

Dude, I want to write something where Ryan and Anna are like 15. Ryan'd be like, all punk'd out or something, and Anna would be into tube tops and revealing outfits. Could you imagine Ed? He'd be the most protective father ever! Anna would never have a boyfriend because who wants to go up against a dad with a metal fist! Add those chizzled muscles (oh yeah!) He'd be alchemizing jackets and stuff, be like, "No! Wear clothes!" and Winry'd just be laughing because that's what she wore when she was 15. You know, if she was alive. The road Ed's on right now...I don't want to think about what he'd be doing in 12 years. One thing's for sure, he'd never remarry. Or marry. Technically he and Winry never got married, he just thinks of her as his wife. Hopefully he wouldn't be at the bottom of a whiskey bottle either. That's why he threw it all out.

If you think about it, drinking to relieve pain of love is just stupid. Why would you want to just make it go away? If you did, that would be like making so that person never existed. And the nonexistence of that person should be more painful than anything, right? Anyway, read please!

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" Al demanded brazenly. Edward seemed to shrink. However unusual it was not a surprising reaction, considering Al had grown about a foot since their return to Amestris and now towered over his elder brother. Without waiting for an explanation, Al burst into a rant.

"When did you join? Where are you living? Where are Ryan and Anna? What about the shop? Who's taking care of it?" Ed went to the door and invited Riza in. Looking thoroughly confused, she entered. Then, only after making sure the door was securely shut did Edward speak.

"I joined a week ago Al. We're living in a house on military property next to Gracia and Elicia; they're watching Anna and Ryan for me. Pinako's taking care of the shop for now. She's going to move it here as soon as a place opens up." Al gazed sadly at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he repeated, softly this time.

"I didn't think to." answered Ed truthfully. "And..." he felt a surge of distaste in his throat, "There's more to add. It's not military related but it is..." he trailed off in search of a word to describe it. The search lasted only a second before Edward decided to continue without it.

"Her body is gone." Riza gave an audible gasp. Roy and Al simply stared at him in disbelief. Ed nodded to confirm what he said was true.

"When?" Riza breathed.

"I'm not sure. Not very long after the funeral. The earth was dug up a-and the coffin was still...still there." An ache grew in his chest that made it difficult to breathe. "I only found out last week. Our friends wanted to protect us Al, so they hid it. It's a nice gesture I suppose but..."

"I know." said Al.

"...unnecessary." Obviously this was not the word they had all been expecting. "She's gone. It's only a shell now. I just thought you all should know. Anyway, I have to get back to work. There's been a string of automail shop robberies, and I am in the Investigations Department after all."

Well, he tried to get back to work. In the end, Ed was only able to lose one of his three stalkers when Hayate pulled Riza away. Roy and Al had not left his side. They kept pressing him for answers, some of which he did not have but most of which he did not want to discuss. It also made it very difficult for him to explain the finer points of airplane engines to his coworkers.

Edward did point out to Roy that he was making it hard for everyone to communicate. This point became void however when Roy dismissed everyone in the department for the day. After this, Ed decided to use Al and Roy to carry a mountain of blueprints and paperwork home.

------------------------------------------

The houses on military property were lined uniformly on the street. Ed's house was a bit different however. It was a newer house, so it was made of brick instead of wood. It was larger than most of the other houses. There was a brass plate over a pine green door that said '4790'. Two apple trees stood seemingly dead with winter on either side of the cobble walkway. Brown, twiggy bushes fenced a good-sized yard. A simple playground with two swings, a slide, and monkey bars took up a corner of the yard. Like the other houses on the street, the door bore the military's emblem on a silver shield. Below it was another silver sign that said 'Fullmetal Alchemist'. Even though it was military housing, it did have a strange homey feel to it. He could not place it. It could have been how the brick was laid or that the maid kept fires roaring in the house at all times. It was the kind of place Edward might have imagined raising a family. But there was also a great emptiness in the house, in every laugh, every word, and he had no trouble placing that feeling.

"Papa!" Anna hugged his leg when he stepped into their house. He patted her head and smiled mildly at her. She and Ryan both had started calling him 'papa' as opposed to 'otousan'. It was used more in the city than in the country. Elicia had introduced them to it. Ryan jogged in and struck a salute when he saw Mustang. Roy grinned and returned the salute. Ryan took it as the 'ok' to scramble up Roy's pant leg and onto his shoulder.

"What are you, a monkey?" Roy asked him. Ryan just giggled.

"Al!" Ryan called to his uncle. "Are you guys staying for dinner?" Al did not even bother to glance at Ed before saying,

"Sure are!" The slightest twitch crinkled Edward's eye.

"That's right Ryan." said Ed as he hung up his jacket. "The colonel's cooking." Then he walked away into what looked like a study, sat down, and sprinkled papers over the desk.

Al spent the early evening playing with his niece and nephew in the yard. Roy spent it in the kitchen, attempting to cook edible food. The maid, Julia, had begged him, pleaded with Roy to let her cook. Mustang dismissed her at every turn and now Julia was reduced to sitting on the floor in the corner, watching him destroy her sterile kitchen. Several times Al caught a glimpse of him in the window and laughed. Roy looked very comical with a white apron over his uniform (it did not keep his uniform clean). Mustang had insisted on wearing the hat as well. More than anything else, Al thought it was an attempt to rouse Edward into a state of amusement. But the Fullmetal Alchemist never left his desk until Anna went and got him.

Out of every dinner Al had attended with Edward over the past four months, this one was the loudest. Normally, dinner was a quiet affair. Tonight however, Roy and Al's presence had the twins so wound up they could not stop talking. Ryan got so excited he knocked over his apple juice. Roy tried to clean it up, but reluctant to take any more 'help' from the colonel, Julia actually slapped his hand when he tried to clean it up.

Edward remained as silent as ever. In fact, he said one thing all the way through dinner. Al was asking Anna and Ryan how they liked being three. This sparked a conversation about the twins' birthday party two weeks ago. Ryan and Anna recounted gift stories. Ryan mentioned how much he liked his screwdriver set (courtesy of Al). This caused Ed to say a very soft,

"Thanks for that by the way. He 'fixes' things all over the house." He said it in such a tone that it dampened the conversation. Al was relieved that it only lasted five minutes.

"Are you sleeping over Al?" Anna inquired.

"Yes, thanks for asking." Roy answered. There was a clank of china as Ed dropped his fork. Al hid a grin and nodded to show he'd sleep over too. No matter what happened, Roy Mustang would always touch a nerve Edward could not suppress.

"Cool!" Ryan exclaimed.

"Can you show me how to set a fire?" Anna requested.

"I don't think that's a good idea Anna." said Al. "Why don't you go feed Aida?"

"Ok!" Anna hopped off her chair. "Wanna come?" she asked Ryan and he slid onto his feet as well.

Julia entered again and started taking dishes off the table. When Roy tried to help she pointed her finger angrily at him and said,

"You...you've done enough sir. My job, I do."

"Julia," said Edward, standing up, "You really don't have to clean up after him, you do enough around here."

"No!" Julia shunted Ed back into his seat. "You sit, Mr. Elric. Please, my job I do for you." Al had the inkling Ryan and Anna may have related Winry's death to Julia. He was sure Ed would never have told her. Julia seemed more protective of Ed than a housekeeper would normally be.

"Julia, wouldn't you like to hire someone else to help you around here?" Ed offered, "It's not a small place, you shouldn't do all this by yourself."

"I am fine to do this alone. You use you money to take care of kids."

"No, I think I'll put an ad out tomorrow." replied Ed. Julia smiled at him.

"You good man, Mr. Elric sir." She disappeared into the kitchen.

"Fascinating girl." Roy marveled. "I wonder where she's from; she's got a beautiful accent. Fullmetal, how old is she? She can't be more than twenty." Al rolled his eyes.

Anna and Ryan trotted back in as the clock chimed nine o'clock. Each of them had half of their cat, Aida. They dropped her in Ed's lap.

"We'll show you your room!" said Anna to Roy, holding out her hand. Roy took it, smiling.

"Be sure to trip up the stairs Mustang." said Edward sullenly, clearly less than pleased that Mustang was spending the night in his home. If Ed had his way, Mustang would probably sleep on the roof.

"They seem better. Have you had any luck finding Den yet?" asked Al, once the twins and colonel were out of view.

"No." replied Ed. "It's been four months so I don't think we will. I guess he couldn't go home without...well, congratulations on passing the exam."

"At least I didn't have to worry about a physical examination this time. After everything we went through, the written exam was a little too easy. As for the demonstration, well..." Al reached over and patted Aida. "She helped a lot."

"So...the Lifeblood Alchemist, huh?"

"It's not as commanding as 'Fullmetal', but I like it." Al smiled. "How's your job? With everything you've studied about machines, I bet you're a real asset to the team."

"I don't know about that." said Edward, "But Mustang was right. If there's anything I can do to stop a war, I've gotta do it. Mom, sensei, and...we've visited too many graves since we got back."

"We have."

"I think it's fair." stated Edward plainly. "Equivalent Exchange."

"What's fair about this? I think we've more than paid the price for our mistake!"

"We've paid the toll for one of our mistakes. This...this is payment for the other." Al gawked at him.

"What are you talking about? What other mistake?"

"We made her wait Al. We never told her anything and she was always waiting. Now we're the ones waiting. We'll have to wait a long time to see her again. And, no one has a clue as to how she died. No matter what you say, the world is based on equivalent exchange. Everything always ends up fair." Al felt the burning sensation on the rim of his eyelid that he always did when they talked too deeply about Winry. He could not help feeling as well that his brother was wrong. There could not be truth to what he was saying and Al would not accept it.

"What kind of dumb logic is that?" Edward lifted Aida onto his shoulder and said,

"I'm...going to go say good night to my kids."

---------------------------------------------------

The phone rang at 3:07 in the morning. Edward rolled over with a groan and picked it up. Aida gave a squeak underneath him and crawled over him to the other side.

"Lieutenant Elric." he said groggily.

"Sir, there's been another robbery."

"An automail store again?"

"Yes sir, in the west this time. You are wanted at the scene." Edward glanced at the clock.

"It's three in the morning. Besides, that's an eight-hour train ride from here. Let the officials at West Headquarters handle it."

"Sir...your presence has been specifically requested by the shop owner. His wife was in the store when it happened. She's dead." Ed felt suddenly awake.

"Yeah, alright. Tell him I'll be on the first train out of here. I should be there a little after noon."

"Yes sir." He hung up the phone and swung his feet out of bed.

"Papa..." A small hand grabbed his nightshirt. It had become sort of a habit for Anna to crawl in bed with him in the middle of the night. He removed her hand gently.

"I'm sorry Anna; I've got to go check this place out. Roy and Al are still here though, okay?"

"Mmk..." Anna mumbled, and drifted back to sleep.

Ten hours later Edward stood in the middle of what used to be Grane's Automail Shop. None of the other robberies had been this bad. The floor planks had been torn up, and there was still blood on the smashed glass cases. Mrs. Grane's body had been removed and taken to the morgue, but there was still a dried mass of blood where she had lain. Mr. Grane had been taken to West Headquarters. He was in a right state when Edward arrived. He had grabbed Ed and cried to him how grateful he was that the Fullmetal Alchemist was taking time to investigate his wife's death, and pleaded for Ed to apprehend the monster.

Ed could not help thinking that he should have gone to West Headquarters with Mr. Grane, but he was needed here. He was relieved to say that Mrs. Grane's death was not caused by alchemy. Until now, they had not been sure if the criminals were using alchemy or not. The wounds on her body were clearly caused by a metal weapon of some sort.

"Lieutenant!"

"Sir!" Edward answered, and jogged over to his commanding officer.

His C.O. was Colonel Leigh, an average height woman with long, thick brown hair tied in a bun. She had deep emerald eyes that had the ability to become severe very quickly. And, as several men pointed out (Ed ignored them when they did) very well endowed. She was decisive, a quick thinker and a brilliant engineer. Ed could not have been granted a better C.O.

"We just moved this bookcase Elric, what do you make of this?" Behind where the bookcase had collapsed was a bloody handprint and a red mark to the side of it. Edward bent down to get a closer look.

"It looks like someone got pretty beat up here. They were held against the wall."

"Could it be Mrs. Grane?" Leigh asked.

"The coroner said she died after the first two slices. Besides, there's no trail of blood leading from here to where she was found. No, this is someone else."

"Do they have kids?" Ed shook his head.

"Their son moved out three months ago and their daughter's on a school trip. We contacted them both and neither could have been here last night."

"Then the criminals are having troubles amongst themselves." Leigh's voice sped up the way it did when she was thinking quickly, "Once we find them we'll be able to exploit that." That was something Edward did not understand about her. She would take something like this and plan to use it against criminals before she even knew whom they were.

He saw something white flicker out of the corner of his eye. He did a double take to make sure he had not imagined it. Sure enough, there was a folded, ripped piece of paper sticking out of the rubble. It looked like it was falling apart so Edward picked it up as gently as he could and opened it. There was only one word inside and it was so badly written that it took him a moment to make it out.

_North._

_

* * *

_

Just so you know, any speech impairments in Julia's lines are because she is foreign. More importantly, in less than two weeks I will be seeing Vic Mignogna. There's gotta be a mistake with the scheduling though...it looks like they've scheduled a relay race between the Rangers and the Skirts at the same time as Vic's panel...How dare they! And on Sunday they're playing Conqueror of Shamballa in the theater...that Sunday is Easter...I'm supposed to go over to my grandparents'...it's from 2:00pm to 4:00pm...maybe I'll go to my grandparents' at 4:30. I know it doesn't matter much because I have the movie. But you know, a chance to see it on a ginormous screen. Then again, it's not like this is the last convention they'll ever play it. They'll probably still be playing it in five years. Ramble over, for now. Part 2 is next time.


	3. Gates Neil

Long time! I didn't have internet...sad...Anyway, I went to Sakura-con in Seattle and waited for four hours to get an autograph from Vic Mignogna (Ed's voice actor). Totally worth it. His Easter sermon was amazing by the way. And I got a hug squee! There's a circle of awesomeness around him.

* * *

"Thank you." said Roy as Al handed him a stack of new deskwork. It was research actually, on the god Ishbala and all recorded history of Ishbal, down to the last footnote. He did understand that this fell with the Investigations Department, but he was finally tired of being a colonel. It was time to move up a rung.

"Sir, may I speak freely?"

"Certainly Alphonse." answer Roy, flicking open the top file.

"I want you to request that Ni-san speak to someone." Mustang paused at the word 'desert on the page. He pretended to keep reading while he waited for Al to clarify. When thirty seconds passed without another word however, Roy repeated,

" 'Speak to someone'?" An inner struggle seemed to rage on Al's face when he said,

"Someone...professional." But the response only deepened Roy's confusion. Finally though, the battle inside Al seemed to resolve.

"The military employs counselors, right?" Roy closed the file and set it down.

"You...want me...to sent your brother...to a shrink?" said Roy slowly. He nearly pulled a muscle from trying not to smile. The idea of Edward Elric laying his thoughts out for a shrink to dissect was laughable.

"Al," Roy strained to keep laughter out of his voice, "Even if I pushed a request like that, you know Ed won't go."

"Then make it an order!" Al's voice was so strong that all thought of laughter recoiled.

"I am so tired of seeing him like this. For Ryan and Anna's sake, please Colonel..."

"I'll put in a recommendation, and when he refuses I'll make it an order." Roy conceded. "But I can't make him talk, and I can't order the shrink to make it better."

Sure enough, Edward did refuse the recommendation. When Roy made it an order, he half-expected, not, hoped that Ed would storm to him with arguments and insults sharp on his lips. Ed did not, but one person did. A striking woman called Colonel Leigh barged into his office the next afternoon.

"--just so sorry you feel a loss of control, but _I_ am his superior now! _I _will decide if and when he needs psychological help!" Roy argued back that he had known Edward longer, more closely and could more accurately judge his state of mind. The issue was brought before a panel of generals and admirals, all of whom were very interested in the Fullmetal Alchemist's mental state. It did not take long for them to side with Mustang.

That being said, Roy felt horrible for it. but through the necessity of creating an argument he justified his position to himself. Anyway, in all likelihood Ed would go in, the counselor would ask routine questions, Ed would give simple, short, direct answers and with nothing to continue with the counselor would stop questioning and Ed would silently sit in his chair for the remaining time. It would continue that way, week after week. The only person Ed would open up to sober was Al. That was the reason why Roy had encouraged a drink or five.

A knock came at the door.

"Ender." said Roy drearily. He desperately hoped it was not a general, admiral, or Colonel Leigh back for round two. he perked up though when Edward entered.

"Sir!" Ed clacked his heels and saluted. Roy was taken off guard. He would never get used to that. Maybe Roy would get what he hoped for. As much as he hated to admit it, he would love to hear 'Flame bastard..." muttered under Ed's breath. Something did seem different about Ed today however, and that returned to him a glimmer of light.

"You're not here to yell at me, are you?" Mustang drawled to keep his attitude about him, perhaps provoke a response.

"Not today sir. On the contrary, I have a favor to ask." If he was not mistaken, Roy just saw Fullmetal's eyes light up.

"What's that?" He was very interested in whatever it was that could bring life back into Ed's, well, life.

Edward held up a small, crinkled dirty piece of paper and set it on Roy's desk.

"I need you to push a handwriting analysis through on this. Investigation is swamped and Colonel Leigh has more than enough to deal with than this right now." Roy unfolded the filthy thing.

"North?" he read carefully. "Is that what it says?" Ed nodded.

"We found it at the site of the last robbery, underneath blood."

"What the hell does 'north' mean?' This time there was a definite shine to Edward's eyes.

"We've been thinking that the robbers are operating out of the East, even though they hit places all over. I could take you through all the evidence that led to that...but this changes everything."

"How so?"

"We never considered that they would operate out of the North because of the rough mountains, wildlife and frequent blizzards. It's better for robbers to have a straight route. But that," Edward gazed fondly at the paper, "Someone's trying to tell us that they're in the North. Think of all the military personnel that have gone missing in the last few months." Roy furrowed his brow. All of it seemed highly circumstantial. He had spent a great deal of time as a private in the North. It was devoid of most life, and the life there was monstrous animals. It was hardly an ideal place for a large operation. Taking care of a hostage there would be difficult as well, and robbers would have made demands to the military by now.

"What does your C.O. think about this?" asked Roy.

"She's convinced that the blood on the wall is a comrade causing internal strife. She's also convinced that the criminals are working out of the East." Ed's voice fell, as if he sensed Roy's disbelief.

"She's probably right." said Roy with the sinking feeling that he just confirmed Ed's sense. There was a moment of silence.

"Colonel, just run the test." Ed requested again. Roy sighed. It would not be too much work.

"Just the handwriting analysis, right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Alright then. Fullmetal,"

"Sir?"

"I'm sorry about the..." Roy waved his hand as if wafting his thought to Edward.

"The therapist?" Roy nodded. "It's okay. I know you're doing it for Al." said Ed.

"Right, anyway, you're dismissed." For a brief second as Edward exited the office, Roy could have sworn he mumbled, 'thanks'. Later Roy decided it was his imagination.

---------------------------------------------

Gates Neil was a plump woman in her mid-fifties. She had dark gray hair that she tied in a bun. Great gray curly portions of her hair hung out around her ears. She word giant onyx stone earrings that made her earlobes reach her chin. Today she had on a plum dress that clashed horribly with her large red-rimmed glasses. Everything she wore around her neck and wrists seemed to be pulling her slowly into the ground. She had the appearance of a rich woman with too much jewelry, except that her accessories were not nearly as nice.

Gates Neil was also one of the most respected psychiatrists of the East, and that is how Edward ended up knowing her. Ed walked into her office at ten o'clock a.m. the next morning. He wrinkled his nose right when he did because the room had the smell of perfume covered up by mothballs. He took a quick glance around. The walls were stacked to the ceiling with books. Her desk was probably more ornate than it needed to be. There were two black leather chairs and a black leather sofa in the middle of the room on an emerald green rug. Gates Neil sat in one of the chairs, staring over the rim of her glasses at a book in her hand. She looked up when Ed shut the door.

"Oh my! I heard I would have a special patient today!" Her voice was deep and scratchy, but had a distinctly feminine quality to it. She popped out of her chair and hobbled over to him on a mahogany cane. She touched his shoulder and led Ed to a seat on the sofa. After she squatted back into her chair she said,

"My, my, the famous Fullmetal Alchemist! Your name is Edward Eklic, isn't it?"

"Elric." Ed corrected with an unfavorable grimace. He resisted scooting away when she patted his knee.

"Oh, that's right, I'm sorry dear. What are you in for now?" She leaned back to look at his chart. Her chin disappeared into her neck. While she did this Edward glanced at the clock on her desk and wondered if there was any alchemy that could speed up time. The smell of her office was making him sick. Gates Neil made some clicking noises, pursed her lips and laid the file on her lap.

"Let's talk about Winry Rockbell." she said casually.

It filled his insides with hot shards to hear her name thrown out like that. _No,_ he thought firmly, _let's not. _Gates Neil knew nothing about her. What right did she have to talk about her?

Gates Neil peered at him over her glasses, her eyebrows raised into her hairline.

"No?" she asked, "May we speak about your mother, Trisha? Or your father, Hohenheim?" His stomach churned. Whenever he thought of Hohenheim these days, he heard both Hohenheim's and Haults' last words in his head. Maybe if he said nothing, she would give up, and stop speaking in that horrible voice. Gates Neil clapped her hands together.

"Oh, I know! We can talk about Katie Gurst!"

"What?" If there was ever a name Edward had not expected to hear again, it was that one.

"I hear she looked a lot like your Winry! Oh my! This is wonderful, we can talk about them both at the same time and knock out two birds with one stone!" Gates Neil sounded like a gossiping school girl. "You met Katie in a place called Norbay, right?

"Norway." grunted Edward through gritted teeth. There was only one possible way Gates Neil could know about Katie or Norway.

"In what ways are Katie and Winry alike?"  
"They're not." Edward answered shortly.

"How are they not alike?' asked Gates Neil without missing a beat.

"I don't know.

"What was Winry like?" Gates Neil spewed her name so disrespectfully. Edward could not imagine loathing someone more than he loathed Gates Neil right now. Her wrinkled, discolored, made-up face leaned too close, awaiting his answer.

"Listen," he swallowed hard to keep his hatred under control, "For the next fifty minutes we can either sit here and discuss the weather, or we can sit and be silent because I'm not doing anything else."

"She was a very pretty girl. It must have been a devastating loss. Please tell me what she was like." Edward wondered if she was deaf.

"I told you already--"

"If not for me, do it for her. Tell her what you think she was like." All the anger inside him slowly evaporated, and as it did, deemed to dissolve a door that he had been reluctant to open. He did not want to feel that much. He did not think one person _could _feel that much. It would kill him if that door was opened. He had to keep it closed.

"No." he replied firmly.

"Do you blame God for her death?"

"That would be hard to do, since I don't believe in God."

"What do you believe in?"

"Equivalent Exchange."

"Really? Do you believe Winry's death is fair and just?"

"You mean, for that sacrifice, have I gained something in return? Has the grief of my children given them something?"

"If you please." Gates Neil was wearing an ugly smile on her thin lips.

"I don't know."

"But you still believe in Equivalent Exchange?"

"Yes." said Ed.

"That must mean you have gained something. How is your relationship with your children?"

"Good, more than that."

"If Winry had lived, would you still be able to say that?" Edward's loathing for the woman began to boil again and as it did, resealed the door.

"What do you mean?"

"If Equivalent Exchange is the case, did Winry pay the price for your children's love?" Edward stood up suddenly, purposefully knocking an expensive looking vase to the floor.

"You're saying she had to die for me to gain the relationship I have with my children? They were fine without me! She didn't have to die for anything! We would all be fine if she were alive! We'd all be whole!"

"If that's the case, Equivalent Exchange doesn't make much sense, does it?" Edward dug his fingernails into his hand to keep from smashing anything else.

"I'm not going to stay here and explain it all to you"

"There's still thirty minutes left!" Gates Neil protested.

"With the extra time, why don't you get this smell out of your carpet?' Ed slammed the door as hard as he could when he left.

-------------------------------------------

Al was waiting outside for the session to end.

"Ni-san, how--" Ed shoved Al into the wall and held him there. He did not care that there were at least twenty people around, or that they had stopped to stare.

"You _know_ me Alphonse! I don't want to hear someone who didn't know her talk about her like that! Tell you what, next time we lose someone I'll send you in there to take in a good whiff of that revolting perfume and let you listen to her talk about them like that!"

"I'm so--"

"I didn't want to talk about Katie with you either! What made you think I would want to talk about it with her? She's trying to get me to compare them both! Al, do you think she died for Equivalent Exchange? Because Gates Neil does!"

"I'm sorry!" Al blurted. Tears began to drip down his face. "I'm so sorry, I just wanted..." Al buried his face in his hands in a furious attempt to dry his eyes. "I just wanted you to be able to say Winry's name..." Edward let go.

"Don't come home tonight Al."

* * *

I mentioned Katie in the first chapter of Redemption if you don't remember. She's Winry's double in our world. Well, I hope you enjoyed that and I hope I can get another chapter up quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry about the long wait. I had to get a portion of this chapter as good as I could. _

* * *

Stupid, stupid, stupid._ That was what Roy kept telling himself. He had just run into Riza. He made a joke, as he often did, that hinted at her feelings for him and bordered on the edge of flirting. 

While he was still chuckling at his remark, Riza's date showed up. Riza was very quiet about it and simply muttered,

"I'm sorry Mac." Roy on the other hand, did not have the ability to shut up. He had rambled on in half sentences, making one foolish joke after another and guffawing loudly at each of them until Riza shook her head at him. After that he turned and walked back into headquarters.

Now he felt like banging his head against a wall in embarrassment. Had he really thought she would always be there? He could not even imagine Riza on a date.

No, that was not completely true. He had imagined her sitting in a nice restaurant, sipping wine and talking amiably. He never placed someone for her to talk to, but if he did and was completely honest about it, it was he. Roy smacked his forehead out of anger with himself.

He heard giggling. He turned around. Al and Fuery were laughing at him.

"I'm sorry Colonel." said Fuery, quickly stifling his laughs. Al made no such attempt.

"We heard you all the way up here." Al explained, "Did you really expect her to wait forever? You smooth talker you. You're whipped!"

"You get more and more like your brother each day." Mustang snapped. Al stopped laughing.

"Don't say that! You don't mean that, do you? Hey, don't walk away!" Roy ignored him and kept on walking. In the distance he heard,

"I'm not really like my brother, right Fuery?" He felt better, like he had siphoned off some of his frustration.

After a few minutes however, that feeling wore off. There was only one reason Al would be here, away from his brother, niece and nephew so late: Ed had locked him out. It was a depressing, guilty realization. The only good thing about it was that it took Roy's mind off Riza. He decided to run the handwriting analysis Ed had asked for.

"Damn it." Edward threw his right hand into the wall so hard it shook the entire house. He kicked his door shut and rolled onto his bed. His stomach hurt, it kept sending threatening messages up his throat. That was nothing compared to the pain in his chest. His mind told him to take deep, slow breaths, but he gasped for anything that would enter his airtight chest.

"Damn it all...how could that woman say...damn it!" He cried curses into his sheets and bit his left hand so hard it bled. He wished he had not told Al to stay away. He wished he had never gone in that detestable woman's office. He rolled off the bed onto the floor with a _clunk_.

"She didn't die for Equivalent Exchange you idiot..." he spat. "You don't know anything—nughn!" That loss...that he could never touch her, and knowing that he had always been a source of loneliness for her, knowing she had given everything to him until she died...His mind forced him back to the night in Resembul near four years ago, four months ago. Every time he relived the warmth and the joy that came from holding her. He remembered her voice clearly, crying because she was scared for him, or because it was too unbelievable he had returned. She never thought that _she_ might never be there, and neither had he. He never wanted to imagine this hell, and know it was the very same hell he put her through. He felt as though his insides were on fire. Scalding grief barraged him, streaming around inside his body with no outlet. His chest clenched and he doubled over. There was no way a human body could take this much pain. He couldn't feel this much...

"Damn it!" He heaved his good arm through the window. It shattered easily. He brought his arm back in. Blood was streaming from different points where glass was stuck. He did not pluck it out. He did not care. He felt like he had forced his pain out the window, if only a little. There was a throbbing pain running up and down his arm, and it had a calming effect on the rest of him. He could hear the quick beating of his heart, and his blood was racing so powerfully it was making him tremble.

The door creaked on its hinges.

"Papa?" Ryan's voice said.

"Don't come over here. There's glass." ordered Ed, and hid his arm from view. Ryan peered around the corner of the bed, leading Anna by the hand. Their sneakers crunched on the glass.

"Go to bed guys." said Ed. He was terrified that they had come up here, even more horrified that they should find him like this.

"Are you hurting somewhere?" Ryan asked.

"I'm fine." he lied, turned his face and smiled to show them. Anna put a hand to her mouth and gave a soft scream.

"Papa!" she let go of Ryan and ran over to Edward. She grabbed his face. "You're crying." For a moment, he didn't know what she was talking about. Anna moved her hand. It slid on his face. He looked down. His neck and front were soaked.

"Do you miss Kasan?" asked Ryan clearly, "Is that why?"

"I miss her very much." said Edward quietly. Anna drew her little arms around his sopping neck.

"I miss Kasan too." Ryan bolted head on into him. "I want her back!" he shouted into Edward's shoulder. He kissed them both.

"If there was anything to be done that could bring her back, I'd do it. I love you both very much." He made sure his left arm stayed hidden from them.

Anna hugged his neck tight the next morning and Ryan held Ed's hand as they walked into the large Central building.

"We're really going to spend the whole day with you?" said Ryan.

"I hope you don't get too bored." Edward smiled at him.

"Do we get uniforms too?" asked Anna.

"I can try. I don't know if there are any your size. Al?" Al was sleeping sitting up in the hall outside the Mechanical Studies Department. He jumped to life as soon as Ed called his name.

"I'm sorry, I made a mistake and I'll go ask Mustang to reverse his order right now!"

"That's alright. Sorry I threw you into a wall." Al grinned at him, but it quickly faded.

"Ni-san, your arm!" Al stared, horrified at Edward's left arm, which was bandaged up to the elbow. He had not pulled his uniform over it; that only made the bandages itch.

"Oh, that." he said nonchalantly, "Aida got stuck in a tree this morning and this is the price for getting her down. Morning Riza."

"Good morning Lieutenant. Are you two spending the day with us?" she said to Ryan and Anna.

"Yup!" Ryan nodded enthusiastically.

"Would you like to come see Roy with me? I bet he could find you some uniforms to wear. You've got to wear that around here." Anna wiggled down and grabbed on of Riza's outstretched hands while Ryan took the other.

"Later Papa!" Anna called. As soon as they were around the corner Al snatched Ed's left arm to get a better look.

"What really happened?" Al demanded. "What did you do?"

"I told you." Edward shrugged. "I had to get a cat down from a tree." Al picked something out of the bandages.

"Do you have a glass tree in your yard?" Al held up a tiny glass shard. Ed pretended to look closely at it.

"That's not glass. That's a piece of her claw."

"Why won't you tell me—"

"Look Al, I've got leads to follow on the automail shop robberies and the Grane murder for Investigations and in Mechanics we're going to start building a plane today so I really don't have time for this."

"So if I went over to the house today I wouldn't find someone replacing a window?" Edward ignored this comment and simply mouthed 'bye' as he shut the door to Mechanics.

Edward handed his finished designs to Lt. Colonel Klein and sat down at his desk. If he finished the paperwork by noon they could begin building an airplane after lunch. As soon as he got his things set out to do it however, a manila folder was slapped down in front of him. He looked up. Colonel Leigh was glowering at him.

"What's this?" Edward read the label. _Happy Birthday Fullmetal. _He rolled his eyes.

"It's Colonel Mustang being sarcastic. It's not my birthday at all." replied Ed.

"I can't help Mustang's sarcasm, but I'd better not hear it from you." The tone of her voice was harsh, something Ed had never heard before. He knew immediately what it must mean.

"These are the results from the handwriting analysis I requested." he said, opening the folder carefully.

"I _specifically told _you to drop it. We can't afford to be wasting the military's resources. I don't like it when my subordinates go over my head, Edward. You can't follow every hunch."

"This hunch was wrong anyway." said Ed grimly as he looked over the report. "There are no matches to anyone in the military or any guests." Colonel Leigh stopped lecturing and her voice lost its harshness.

"I guess now would be a bad time to say 'I told you so'."

"It would." said Ed darkly. "But I still think there's a good lead in this."

"Do I have to remind you of all the evidence that says they're stationed in the East?"

"No. But Colonel, they could have covered it up. Who would expect them to be living in the North? Maybe it's worth enough to them to deal with the hardships out there."

"Lieutenant..." Leigh said exasperatedly, "Do I need to cut down on your workload? In the week and half you've been here you've taken on nearly half the department's work."

"I'm the only one who knows how to do it properly." said Ed stiffly.

"I think it's too much stress for you." said Leigh bluntly.

"Meaning what?" Colonel Leigh leaned closer over his desk.

"Meaning I was one of those lucky bystanders yesterday afternoon." she hissed, barely audible. Edward did not have a reply.

"Listen," Leigh continued, keeping her voice low, "If there's one thing I've learned about you so far it's your duty and your love to your brother. That what I immediately liked about you. You and I are the same in that we were both left with only a sibling as children. I know what kind of bond that is because I share it with my brother. Throwing your only family member into a wall is not something you'd do."

"I had my reason. Besides, we're okay now." replied Ed in an equally quiet tone. "Don't cut down on my workload, please." Colonel Leigh stared at him for a long moment before saying,

"All right, I won't."

"Thank you." Leigh nodded and strode back to her own desk and proceeded to study the engine designs. Edward's desk buddy, a private by the name of Robert Gent leaned over.

"That conversation was awfully close. Getting cozy with the Colonel already Ed?" Gent joked. Edward elbowed him hard in the ribs. He tried to return to his paperwork, but his conversation with Leigh dragged up the memory of yesterday's 'therapy' session. It made it very hard to concentrate on anything for very long. Plus, the 'north' note kept fluttering around in his brain. He knew Leigh made more sense on this matter, but he could not help feeling that it was the only legitimate clue they had come across. He needed more evidence.

It was like a battery started charging in his brain and spread throughout his body. All of a sudden, he knew how to get the evidence he needed. It was so unbelievably simple he did not understand how he had not thought of it beforehand. But...Edward stared angrily at the stack of papers before him, his chain to the desk. Then he remembered he was a Lieutenant. Ed decided to delegate. He had to go find Ryan and Anna anyway, before Mustang really did teach them to set something on fire.

"Here Private." he said to Gent and placed the stack of papers on Gent's side of the desk. Gent looked terrified.

"Where are you going?"

"To go find my kids. Hawkeye kidnapped them."

"Who's Hawke—you have kids?!" Gent said it so loudly that everyone, including Colonel Leigh stopped to stare. Ed silently cursed Gent.

"Yeah, two. They're three." said Ed hurriedly in a hushed tone. Maybe if he gave him the basic information Gent would shut—

"Three years old?! But you're only twenty, right?" Edward felt his face heat up. He wanted to kick Gent. Gent was making no effort whatsoever to keep his voice down. Ed could feel all the eyes of the room on him.

"Yeah, in two months."

"You're nineteen?!" Gent blatantly shouted.

"Yes, just shut up!"

"So you were sixteen when—"

"Shut up Gent!" whispered Edward hotly. He did not know what Gent had been about to say and did not want to know.

"Who's their mom? Are you married?" Gent's eyes immediately started scanning Ed's left hand. Ed tried to hide it further from view.

"No, Gent, please, just shut up!"

"What are their names?" Edward had the sinking feeling he was not going to get out of the room until he satisfied all of Gent's questions.

"Private!" Colonel Leigh barked from the other side of the room.

"Ma'am!" Gent struck a stiff salute.

"I believe you were given an order to shut up. Mr. Elric is a Lieutenant, or can't you see his stripes?" Gent turned as bright as Ed.

"Yes, ma'am! I'm sorry Lieutenant Elric sir, I'll start on this paper work immediately." Edward let out a long breath, he hadn't even realized he had been holding it. He gave a grateful look to Colonel Leigh, even though it could not express how truly thankful he was, and stepped out into the hall.

To his dismay, several people scattered when he opened the door to the hall. He was sure they had just been listening. He could not blame them. If he had heard shouting, he would want to know what it was about too. Even so, their constant gaze was extremely uncomfortable.

Ed decided to ignore the whispers in the hall as he passed, and instead focused on how he was going to phrase his request to Colonel Mustang. He did feel sorry for having to go above Colonel Leigh's head again, but she would never let him do it. He would make it up to her somehow.

"Hey Riza." he greeted briefly before grabbing the door handle.

"Ed, you can't go in, the Colonel's in a meeting…" But Ed had already pushed open the door.

Mustang had his knees drawn up to his chest in a chair. Ryan was on top of him, tugging at his colonel's stripes. Anna had somehow managed to climb halfway up the window and now Al was pulling at her waist to get her down. Edward had half a mind to give up, walk out and not ask a thing. His need for Mustang's support was dire however, so he stayed.

"The Colonel was just briefing me on my first mission as a State Alchemist." said Al, and finally succeeded in retrieving Anna from the window.

"Uh-huh…I see that. Ryan, get off that, you don't know where it's been." said Edward. Ryan giggled and slid off Roy.

"Papa, Roy found uniforms, see?" said Ryan happily. Both he and Anna were clad in military uniforms. Edward smiled at him.

"Roy'll be working for you in a couple years."

"Ni-san, guess what my first mission is." said Al.

"What?"

"Youswell Mines is up for another inspection."

"Youswell?" Ed repeated, "That's to the North a bit, right?"

"I think so." said Al, looking thoroughly puzzled.

"Could I talk to Mustang alone please?" Al furrowed his brow at Ed.

"Sure..." Al picked up Ryan and Anna and left the room with a confused glance at Edward.

"Colonel, I need you to send me on a mission...Colonel?" Roy had his head down on his desk and was pretending to sleep.

"Colonel!" shouted Ed, and simultaneously kicked the desk with his left foot. Roy picked his head up two inches.

"No. I have a bad feeling about what you're going to ask and I don't think you've cleared it with Leigh and that woman is a _monster_."

"I'll be sure to tell her you said that. I need you to send me on a mission to the north."

"Can't you just forget about the note?" said Roy in a half-whine.

"No, I can't. Send me up there and you'll never hear about this again. It's the only way I can be sure." Roy flopped back down on his desk with a long groan. His hand groped the desk blindly and found paper and pen. Without looking, he wrote something on the paper mumbling,

"Leigh is going to _murder_ me..." Roy slid the paper to Edward. "When you get back, find me a nice casket and make sure I have all my parts because your C.O. is going to dismember me."

* * *

So...I tried. I wanted to make his grief come through. He's held it up for four months and I wanted to relate that empty despair that comes from loosing someone you love and having your heart broken at the same time. Maybe those aren't the right words...but you know what I mean, right? I wrote and rewrote sentences and words to try and convey that. I hope it wasn't horrible. Again, sorry for the wait. 


	5. Regret

OMG! AN UPDATE! No, I have not forgotten about this story.

* * *

"Listen guys." said Ed, stepping out of Roy's office into the hall. Ryan and Anna were standing beside Al, waiting.

"I've got a mission, and I'm leaving today on the four o'clock train, so you guys will be spending the next few days with Gracia and Elicia."

"Yay! I like Elicia!" smiled Anna brightly. But Ryan frowned.

"Do you have to go?" he asked sullenly. Edward placed his hand on Ryan's head.

" 'Fraid so. It's only three days, four at the most." Ryan's frown stayed put. It made Ed feel slightly guilty. He knew Ryan would not be happy playing with two girls.

"Come on." Ed coaxed, "There's still today. You guys can come help us start building our airplane." That did the trick. Ryan's frown vanished immediately. He and Anna both leapt on Ed, knocking him flat on his butt. He hugged them both.

-------------------------

"Hey Edward!" Gent waved to him from the other side of the hangar. Ed waved back, his anger towards Gent was completely forgotten. Gent jogged over.

"I'm sorry about earlier...are those your kids?" Gent gazed down at Ryan and Anna, who were hiding shyly behind Edward's legs.

"Yeah." answered Ed. Gent bent down.

"What's your name?" Gent asked kindly.

"Anna." squeaked Anna. Ryan took on a bold voice.

"I'm Ryan, and I'm gonna be your boss!" Gent laughed loudly.

"Probably. How do you guys like having the best alchemist in the country for a dad?" Ed felt his face turn red again. Anna smiled and hugged Ed's leg.

"Love him." said Ryan. Ed felt a lump harden in his throat. He ruffled Ryan's hair.

"What's your mom's name?" said Gent.

"Kasan." chirped Anna. Gent chuckled again.

"Aren't you a smart one?" Gent stood up. Edward took a folded up blueprint sheet out of his pocket and handed it to Anna.

"Would you take this over to Lt. Colonel Watley," he pointed out the tall and gangly Fred Watley, "and then take this," he handed another paper to Ryan, "to Colonel Leigh." He motioned to the opposite corner. Ryan and Anna jogged away on their missions.

"Lordy Ed, they look just like you! In a few years we won't be able to tell you and Ryan apart!" exclaimed Gent.

"Yeah..." said Ed distractedly. Ryan had just handed Leigh the paper and now Ed was watching her storm back into the main building. He felt bad, especially after how she had stood up for him today.

"Hey, Gent. Do me a favor."

"Anything sir." said Gent happily.

"Don't ask my kids anything more about their mother."

"All right. Sir, what about their mo—" Edward held up his hand.

"Don't ask me either."

"Yes, sir."

Work went well that afternoon. Ed was not able to do much of the work himself; he was mostly answering questions about the engine. He was glad to have Ryan and Anna there. He used them to carry messages back and forth between groups, a job they were ecstatic to do.

"Your kids are amazing." Watley commented. It was about the thousandth time Ed had heard this.

"They don't get in the way, all they do is help. They're better than half the officers in this place." Ed smiled to himself.

"Thanks."

"You too Ed." Watley continued, "Who would've thought you have such a life. You're a great father to them, I can already tell. Hey, maybe you could come over sometime! My kids are a little older, but I think they'd like playing together."

"Thanks, I think they'd like that. We're still new here, and I'm sure they miss their friends back in Resem—" It happened without warning. There was a shout like a bomb and the sudden clink of several small, metal objects.

"Ow, Ryan!" Anna whimpered. Edward's eyes flew over the hangar until they found his kids. Ryan was standing over Anna, right where they had been playing five minutes before.

"Don't say that again!" Ryan shouted at his sister.

"What'dya do that for!" Anna cried angrily. She picked up a bolt from the floor and threw it back at him. Ryan ignored it.

"Promise you won't say it again Anna!"

"No! Kasan—"

"Kasan's dead and she's not coming back!" Ryan bellowed. The hangar echoed with his voice. Ed knew that every person was staring at the twins. Even he could not move.

"But Papa..."

"Papa can't bring her back!" Anna covered her ears. She seemed to shrink in front of her brother. Edward's mind finally caught up to what he was hearing. He ran out to where they were sitting and picked Ryan up around the waist.

"Stay here Anna." he muttered. "I'll be right back."

--------------------------------------

When he set Ryan down, Ryan folded his arms and stood facing a corner. He was sniffling as he did when he did not want to cry.

"I'm not mad, Ryan." said Edward gently. "I just want to know what happened."

"Anna said that you were smart enough to make up alchemy to bring Kasan back." answered Ryan accusingly. Ed put his hands on his son's small shoulders.

"It's true I can't, no one can. But you don't have to be mad at her for it." Ryan wiped his eyes furiously, but the only thing he accomplished was spreading his tears over his whole face. Ed tugged on Ryan's shirt, trying to coax him into turning around. Ryan jerked away.

"I'm not mad at Anna." said Ryan definitely.

"Then why did you yell at her?"

"Pap—Otousan, did you love Kasan?" For the second time, Edward thought he would break because of this little boy's question. He remembered horribly the first time Ryan had asked this in Resembul, in front of Winry. That time, Winry had been there, and when her hand had dropped from his waist in surprise, Edward should have picked it right back up, smiled broadly, hugged her and said "Yes!, Yes, I love her, I always did, even when I didn't realize it." Back then, those words had seemed to be inadequate however, so he had said nothing. They still seemed inadequate.

"Ryan, look at me. Look at me." Slowly, Ryan turned a wet, runny face around. Edward held his tiny hands. Ryan's gold eyes stared unblinking at him.

"I loved your mother very, very much. Do you understand?" Ryan did not nod; he only wiped his sleeve across his face again, with more success.

"Aida didn't get stuck in a tree today Papa. Why was there glass on the floor?" Ryan's question took Ed completely off-guard...he was not sure how to say anything, or if he should just lie. No, not to his son.

"Last night I was angry. I wasn't angry with you or Anna."

"Why were you mad?" Ryan's voice was so calm, and innocent. Ed felt his insides breaking as he tried to explain.

"I was mad that Kasan isn't here, but I wasn't mad at her. I was angry with myself. Sometimes..." his voice dropped very low, "sometimes I feel like it's my fault she died." It was something he had not admitted to himself, and never dared to say it aloud, even to Al.

"Is that why your arm is hurt?" Ed was staring at the floor now; he could not look at his son's face as he said a very quiet,

"Yes."

----------------------------------------

Roy felt sick to his stomach. He wished, oh how he wished to God that he had stayed in his office and suffered through Colonel Leigh's rant. Riza had tipped him off she was coming...he had just wanted to avoid her for a few hours, he had wanted to see how Ryan and Anna were helping. He had never, _never_ expected to overhear that kind of conversation. He had suspected all of it, but had not wanted any kind of confirmation. He had not wanted to know for sure that Edward blamed himself for Winry's death, even though he already knew it. He wished there were some kind of alchemy to take Edward's pain away, and he felt severe hate towards Ed and Al's father, Hohenheim. Should not Hohenheim be here now, for his sons? It should be Hohenheim, not Roy who was resisting the impulse (Roy felt worse admitting it) to hug Edward so tight that all his pain was squeezed out. He wanted to stuff Ed's ears full of so many words...Roy thought of hundreds of ways to tell Fullmetal that Winry's death was not his fault, and a hundred more answers to anything Ed might say. But he also knew Edward would hate that.

And now Roy had to go back to his office, to where Colonel Leigh was surely waiting to convince him not to send Edward on a mission Roy did not want to send him on.

* * *

Well, you know, Roy is kinda like the boys' father, just as Izumi was kinda their mother. And I can't resist father/son stuff, I just can't. Gotta find a way to do it and keep them mostly in character though...Ja ne! 


	6. Body and Soul

RAWR! Thanks to those who reviewed!

* * *

As he had expected, Colonel Leigh was outside Roy Mustang's office when he arrived. She held her forefinger dangerously at him. Riza sat just inside the office, pretending to do her paperwork. 

"You _deliberately_ went behind my back! I told Ed it was a dead end, I don't need you encouraging him!" Roy dug his pinky into his ear, pretending not to listen.

"I had a mission...and I didn't want to do it." Mustang yawned.

"I don't have time for your sarcastic comments Mustang!" snapped Leigh. "You can't let Ed come and go as he pleases!"

"Wanna go out sometime?" asked Roy. That'd throw her. Maybe she'd get offended and leave. But Leigh was unfazed.

"Would you like me to take this to the board Mustang?" Perhaps if he made some rude comment about how big her chest was, then she'd leave. Roy eyed Riza in the office. Riza was within perfect hearing distance. He'd better not.

"And who was it that they sided with last time?" Roy reminded. "Look, I know Ed better. This is something he's got to do, you're not going to change his mind. Might as well let him go." Roy shrugged. Leigh turned very red in the face.

"_I'm _his C.O.!" Leigh replied hotly, "Believe it or not, he's still a kid, and kids need boundaries!" A lamp burst suddenly into flame behind her. Leigh stood completely stunned, staring at Roy's glove of ignition cloth.

"You don't have to tell me that he's still a kid." Roy snarled. "The only reason he rejoined the military is to take care of his kids after his wife and my best friend died. He's never going to follow orders if he doesn't want to. When he first started I had to strike a mutually beneficial bond with him just so he would go on missions. That, and I blackmailed him. If you don't want to deal with that then you should just promote him up to Brigadier General." Leigh threw her hands exasperatedly in the air.

"You're all kids! You can't function—"

"If you're going to lecture people about behaving like children Colonel, don't come bawling every time your favorite toy gets stolen." Riza interrupted sharply. Roy stepped away from Riza's desk. She was giving Leigh a dangerous look. Roy was scared of Riza's dangerous looks. In fact, it occurred to him that he was trapped between the two people that scared him most in the world.

"Your Lieutenant has a sharp tongue, Mustang."

"That's only because you smell different. Once she gets used to you she warms up and sometimes she'll lay on the bottom of your bed." Roy laughed nervously. Why could he not listen to the voice in his head that told him when to shut up? Hawkeye's gaze was still fixed on Leigh, but Roy knew once she left it would be all on him.

"This isn't over." said Leigh, and strode down the hall.

To his immense surprise, Riza lay her head down on her desk when Roy closed the office door. Riza had never lain down at her desk.

"I'm going to get Falman to do the rest of this." Riza patted her stack of paper work.

"I've never known you to delegate." said Roy.

"I'm tired." replied Riza simply. "Colonel, you like Anna and Ryan?" Confused, Roy answered,

"Yeah."

"I mean, do you really like them? Do you love them?" Even more puzzled, Roy said,

"Yes. What's this about?"

"Don't you ever think about having kids? You're into your thirties now."

"Not really. Do you?"

"I didn't...until I saw how happy they made Winry. I was there when she found out. She started crying. At first, I thought she was sad because she didn't want kids, but she was crying because she was happy. She said she wanted to do it more than anything, even though Ed would never see them. She loved him that much...and I thought that to have that kind of bond with someone must be amazing. I think I'd like to have that."

"Lieutenant..." Riza picked her head up off the desk.

"Colonel, I'm not going to pretend that I don't know that you know how I feel about you." What did she just say? Riza was acting weird, and despite his confusion, there were swooping sensations in his stomach and his skin was warm.

"How long has it been since you slept Hawkeye?" he asked uncomfortably.

"Three days. I guess none of that made sense. Colonel, you know what my feelings are for you." Roy's mind raced. Was she trying to say she wanted that bond with him?

"I'm tired of it, I want to know," Riza continued, "What that means to you, and if I get anything back." Riza was gazing intently at him. He had not thought about it, honestly. He had always had a pleasant feeling in him when she was around. He conversed with her in an almost flirtatious way, but he always knew where to draw the line. And his brain had been racked when he had found her out with another man. That certainly sounded like the definition of a crush, but he knew it wasn't that. Was it simply a physical attraction? She was certainly beautiful. But was that all there was, or was there more to it?

Roy was pausing too long and he knew it. He had to say something quick. He could ask her out...but he could not bear making Riza one of the many women he went out with. He did want to see her at a fancy restaurant, sipping wine and talking amiably as he had imagined. But if it screwed everything up...to hell with it.

"Wanna go to dinner sometime? Like Thursday?" The words tumbled out of his mouth so quickly that they slurred together. Riza looked positively stupefied. Her jaw had gone slightly slack and her caramel eyes were wide.

"Y-yeah..."

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Work in the hangar had gone quickly that afternoon, mostly because not a person talked to another, and certainly did not dare talk to Ed. Despite that, Edward was pleased that so much work had been done in the first day, but now he was dashing about the house trying to gather his things. His train left in less than an hour and his suitcase was barely half-full. It was not clothes that was troubling him, it was managing to stuff all the investigatory tools he needed into one suitcase. His first attempt had failed miserably, he had had to unpack everything and go through it all to decide what he really needed. There was one instrument in particular that he wanted. As always however, a thing is never around to be found when one wants it most.

"Are you _sure_ you haven't seen it Julia? It's long and wide and flat, but it folds up…"

"I never see it, Mr. Elric, sir." said Julia for the hundredth time. "I always clean the house top and bottom, and I never see it." _Ding-dong_.

"Agh!" Edward groaned as the doorbell rang. "Would you get that Julia?"

"Yes, sir." Ed continued searching in the cushions of the couch. He had no idea why it would be in there though.

"Ni-san? Can I come in?" Ed looked up. Al was dressed in a familiar red coat, a black collared shirt with white trim, black pants, and dark loafers.

"I think I just traveled back in time…" said Ed, taking in Al's appearance.

"You could go back to your old clothes as well you know. People got used to you in that jacket."

"I lost that jacket to a river in Switzerland. Al, have you seen that thing that folds out to a board and it's got a bunch of magnifying glasses on it?"

"Yeah, you lent it to Mustang when he had a splinter." answered Al.

"I did?"

"You probably didn't realize, it was three months ago so…" Al trailed off. Edward thought back, trying to remember, but he did not remember much from three months ago. It all had seemed to pass in a haze.

"Anyway," Al picked up, "We're going to be late, Ni-san. You and I share the first leg of the trip, I've got a taxi waiting outside to take us to the train station."

"Fine. If Mustang's got it, there's nothing I can do." Ed closed his suitcase. "Anna! Ryan!" The twins trotted in after a few moments.

"Are you leaving Papa?" Anna asked.

"I'll be back in a few days." responded Ed, kneeling to his children's eye level. "Be good to Gracia, and if you want to come back here you can, just make sure Julia knows so she can take care of you."

"Papa," said Ryan, "Gracia said she's going to teach us how to make apple pie, so when you come back we'll make it for you. Just like Kasan did." Ed bit the inside of his lip.

"Thank you, Ryan." he said bracingly, "That's really…"

"We're going to learn how to make ice cream too!" chimed Anna. "Apple pie and ice cream!"

"That sounds great." said Al, leaning over Ed's shoulder, "But if we don't get going we'll miss our train. Come on Ni-san." Walking out the door was the very last thing Edward wanted to do.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Most of the train was crowded and stuffy, but thanks to being military dogs, Ed and Al were seated in the first class car. They had not realized this until the ticket manager had come down through the cars and told them. It was a great deal of work traipsing through the hoard of people, so by the time Ed and Al reached first class, they were both out of breath.

"How far north are you going?" asked Al once they had settled into their seats and been served drinks.

"To the mountains at least. Maybe further. It depends." replied Ed, taking a swig of what he thought was apple juice. It burned his throat and nose so bad that he could not swallow the entire mouthful. He spat the majority of the liquid back into the cup.

"What the he—hey!" Ed motioned to a waitress who came trotting to him.

"Is something the matter sir?" she said kindly.

"I ordered apple juice!" Ed spluttered. His mouth was not back to normal and his eyes were beginning to tear from the experience.

"That is apple juice."

"If you added tabasco!"

"Not at all, it's vodka." the waitress explained.

"_Vodka?_" Ed repeated.

"Yes, it says so on the menu. The apple juice is made with vodka."

"You mean the vodka is made with apple juice. What are you trying to serve? Why didn't you just put rum in it?"

"Well, I couldn't sir. The rum's gone."

"Gone?" said Al, "Why is the rum gone?" Edward looked curiously at his brother. Al shrugged.

"What? It's a long journey just starting out. Why would the rum be gone?" Ed rolled his eyes.

"Just get me water. No ice, no vodka, no nothing, got it?" he told the waitress, handing her his glass.

"Yes, sir." she nodded, and disappeared behind a curtain at the front of the car.

"Ni-san, when you get back can I start moving my stuff into the house?"

"Huh?" said Ed, whose mind was still wondering why anyone would put vodka in apple juice.

"Since the State Alchemist exam I've been living in military barracks, but I'm really only fourteen still and I can't stay there forever. I need to find another place to live and you're my legal guardian."

"I'm not. I think it's still Hohenheim."

"He can't be my guardian, he's dead!"

"What do you need a guardian for anyway?"

"Passports, bank account, social security, marriage certificate—"

"Marriage?" said Ed incredulously, "Are you _planning_ to get married before you're eighteen?"

"No, but it'd be nice to have a name in that slot!"

"Get married in Kaolin, they don't have that slot on their marriage certificates."

"Fine! Maybe I'll just ask the Colonel. That'll make him kind of like my dad, and yours too by default." said Al smugly.

"You wouldn't…"

"I would. I might call him when I get to Youswell."

"That morally corrupt bastard isn't fit to be anyone's da—"

"_Could_ you keep it down?" said a man's voice suddenly. Edward looked behind him. A middle-aged man was peering at him through small, rectangle spectacles. Before Ed could think of something to say back, the man turned around again and carried on his conversation with another gentleman next to him and a proper-looking woman across from him. The woman continued to glare at Ed for another few seconds before returning her attention to the conversation at hand.

"Please, Doctor Kubler." said the man, waving his hand for her to speak again.

"Call me Elisabeth. As I was saying, Herbert, grief can be defined in five steps. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance." Edward stopped. Against his will his ears listened closely.

"In denial a patient will try to isolate himself, deny that a loss has taken place. After that, he will be angry at God, the world, himself, or even at the person causing him grief, depending on the situation. Bargaining, you can figure that out yourself Herbert, you do enough of it. Of course, depression will set in sooner or later. This is the most dangerous stage and can often carry the 'anger' stage with it. This is when the patient is most vulnerable to thoughts of harming oneself or suicide. It's a very tricky stage where the therapist must tread carefully. Finally, after this all has passed, the patient will be forced to accept that a loss has taken place and learn to live with it. It is my job to assist patients in dealing with the changes that create loss and the feelings that follow. Sometimes it takes years. But, time heals all wounds, as they say." Edward clenched his fists. She was wrong. Didn't she know that a person can never fully accept loss? Didn't she know there were some wounds even time could not seal?

"That is interesting Elisabeth." said the man next to Herbert. "But as a scientist, I'm inclined to disagree with your conclusion that simple change is the cause of grief. The human body is made up of water, carbon, ammonia, lime, phosphorus, salt, saltpeter, sulfur, fluorine, iron, silicon, and trace amounts of a few other elements. Everything in our bodies happens because of chemical reactions, including our emotions. When a husband loves a wife, it's not what the writers say. Perhaps her pheromones were right for him, but his love is not love at all, only his body producing 'feel good' chemicals. If the wife dies, the grief the husband experiences is merely the withdrawal he goes through because his body no longer produces those chemicals."

"You're wrong." Edward spat in a low voice. "You're just a hack."

"Who said that?" said the man angrily, looking around for a speaker.

"I did." said Ed, getting up from his seat and turning to face the neighboring table. Al slid down in the corner of his bench. The man's eyes searched Ed before he said,

"Oh, you're just a brat. Sorry to break it to you, but everything you feel is simply loose chemicals floating around. I don't have the energy to break it down for you." Ed slammed his right palm into the table, cracking it.

"And I don't have the patience to listen to pompous jerks! Do the train a favor and shut up!"  
"If you had done all the research I have son, you'd come to the same conclusion." said the man stubbornly.

"If you had been through everything I have you wouldn't need research to tell you the wrong conclusion! Tell me, if all we are is chemicals, why has there never been a successful human transmutation? We have all the chemicals, so what's missing?" The man looked taken aback and seemed to lose his speech. But his eyebrows then furrowed and he reclaimed his arrogant manner.

"I don't have time to listen to every kid who reads a science book and thinks they're all-knowing." Ed's temper had reached its limits. He was resisting the temptation to punch the stupid man. Ed yanked his watch out of his pocket and held it in front of the man's face. His eyes widened in shock.

"You should know who you insult. I'm Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, and you just made a big mistake old man. Now listen up, because I'm going to give you a science tip. The body and the soul are two entirely different things. You can even separate the two. So you see, even though chemicals affect the body greatly, there is a whole other half they can't touch. See? I disproved all your research in five seconds. Now shut up." Edward sat down hard in his seat, still seething.

* * *

In honor of Pirates I had to do a rum joke. I spent about thirty minutes thinking up a way to do it mind you. Appreciate my effort! Nah, you don't have to. Anyway, third Pirates. They could have done more with it, I really think they had an opportunity there. Oh well, I still enjoy it. The ending fight scene made up for the vagueness. That part ruled beyond everything. And Orlando is dead sexy. 'Dead sexy' doesn't even describe him. There are no words. I could right paragraphs describing him and it wouldn't be enough. You've also got to love how Depp created and deepened Sparrow's character. Damn fine acting. I don't care what you say about the third movie, but Depp was great beyond all reason. 


	7. Meridium

Ed felt soft grass under his hand. He wrinkled his nose; the air smelt like dirt, flowers, new grass and summer. He opened his eyes and sat up. He recognized where he was, it was a field where he used to play with Winry and Al. Even though it was sunny, there was a white, powdery mist. Suddenly, he remembered what he was supposed to be doing. He, Al, and Winry were making a hat for Den. He was out here to collect flowers. Ed started pulling up wild daisies and crocuses.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"Getting flowers for Den's hat." he answered.

"We're not doing that anymore." the speaker held a hand out to him. Ed kept his flowers in his grip and looked up.

"Why not?" he asked Winry.

"We're going to see Roy." said Winry. "Al already went, we have to catch up." Ed took her hand and dropped the flowers.

"The colonel? Why?"

"He found the Philosopher's Stone, silly! That's why!"

"Oh, okay then." said Ed. The Philosopher's Stone was very important.

"Hold my hand and I'll show you where they are." Winry told him. Edward nodded and they began to run through the field. He kept his eyes on Winry. Her sundress swished back and forth as she paved the way through the flowers. Her hair was down today. He thought she should wear it like that more often. After he got the Philosopher's Stone, he would make a flower hat for her to match Den's.

"There they are!" Winry pointed to the top of the hill. "Hurry up, we're almost there!" Winry sped up, pulling Ed along with her.

"Edward's here, Colonel." said Riza, who was standing at the top with Roy and Al.

"Finally! I thought you wouldn't get here in time!" said Roy as Winry and Ed reached the crest of the hill. "

"Tell him where the Stone is!" said Al excitedly.

"I'm going to! It's right in there, Ed." Roy pointed to a tool shed about twenty meters away.

"But, wait a minute…" Ed hesitated, glancing over his brother. "Al has his body. I don't need the Philosopher's Stone anymore."

"But you've been looking for it." said Roy encouragingly. "You can have it now. Go take it!"

"I guess that makes sense. I have been looking for it." said Ed calmly.

"Come on Ed!" Winry pulled on his hand. They started running again. With each step he got more excited. His pace quickened to get to the Philosopher's Stone faster. Soon he was ahead of Winry.

"Hurry up!" he yelled to her.

"I can't run any faster!" she panted. But he had to get there. He ran faster still, until he could no longer hold on to her hand. Seconds later he burst into the tool shed. Roy was right, the Philosopher's Stone was there. It was a clear, blood red crystal. Edward picked it up gingerly. It was gorgeous. He stood staring at it, mesmerized by its magnificence. Finally he turned to Winry.

"Look, isn't it pretty Winry? Winry?" But Winry was nowhere to be seen. Sudden fear gripped him. He dropped the Philosopher's Stone and started running back along the path. Halfway across the trail, he tripped and fell. He looked to see what he had fallen over. Winry was crumpled in the middle of the path.

"Winry!" he called. He scrambled over to her and shook her shoulder. "You can't sleep right now, I found the—" Winry was not waking up. He shook her harder. Still, nothing. He rolled her into his lap and put his head to her chest. He could not hear a heartbeat. She was not breathing.

"Al, Roy, Riza! I think Winry's dead!" Edward shouted franticly. Neither Roy, Al, nor Riza paid any attention. They simply continued to talk amongst themselves.

"We have to help her!" bellowed Ed, as loud as he could. Hot needles pierced his eyes as he started to cry.

"Haven't you noticed she's not breathing?!" he roared.

"Oh shut up!" said Riza, "We heard you the first time!"

"But why?!"

"You shouldn't have let go of her hand." shrugged Roy. "She _told_ you she couldn't run that fast."

"I didn't mean to!" cried Edward.

"It's okay Ni-san." said Al consolingly. "She only fixed your automail. You'll find someone else."

"No, you're wrong! She was so much more, I loved her! I loved her, I love—"

The train hit a bump, causing Ed to crack his head on the window. He could feel sweat prickling in his hairline. He ignored it, and tried to ignore his dream along with it. Normally, he was lucky enough not to remember his dreams. When he did, however, he pushed them to the back of his mind.

"Nice nap?" asked Al

"Yeah, 'cept for the waking up part." mumbled Ed, rubbing his head where it had hit the window, "Those idiots gone?"

"Last stop."

"Good."

"My stop's coming up in a few minutes. I have something for you, Ni-san." Al stood and dragged a rather large box out of his luggage on the top rack.

"Al…" sighed Ed as Al handed him the box. He opened it. There was a large, folded piece of cloth inside. Ed shook it open. It was a thick, red winter coat. It had a large neckband, perfect protection against nippy air. The entire coat was made with harsh weather in mind. There was no place skin could slip through, or any way for air to slip in.

Even the front buckles overlapped.

"Look on the back." said Al happily. Ed did. On it was stitched the snake and cross enigma the name 'Elric' had become so affiliated with.

"Thanks, Al. This'll be warmer than what I brought."

"Now look at the bottom of the box." Edward set the coat down on the seat beside him. A set of assorted bottles and bags lay in the box. Ed picked up them up one by one, inspecting each closely.

"What are they?"

"Medicines. I know you, Ni-san. You're bound to get in a fight with someone. I made them myself, I don't think there's anything better."

"Are you going to do this every time I go on a mission?"

"I'll do anything to make sure my niece and nephew don't lose another parent." Ed's throat became abruptly dry. His mind flashed back to his dream.

"Thanks." he muttered bracingly.

"Ni-san," said Al, his voice turning serious, "I mean it, don't you even think about dying up there. I don't care if you've got to crawl bleeding to a military installment."

"How nice of you." replied Ed, disguising his cracking voice as boredom.

"We're the ones who need you, Winry's safe." The train began to slow creakingly on its brakes.

"Winry's dead." said Edward, staring at his shoes. He did not desire to look into Al's eyes. Al would do anything for him, and he knew it was hurting his brother to know that he could do nothing.

"Nothing's going to bring her back." he added solemnly.

"I'll, uh, call home once I get to the inn." said Al sadly as the train came to a complete stop.

"Call every day." Ed told him.

"Sure thing." Al gave him a watery grin. Ed thought that was the end of it, but just as Al was about to step into the aisle, he turned back and stuffed his arm around Ed in a tight one-armed hug.

"Good-bye, Ni-san." That really was the end of it. Al stood on the platform and waved until he and Ed were completely apart for the first time in over a year.

"Halling!" Halling, who was carrying a stack of boards, pivoted sharply on his heel to see who was calling. Several people ducked to avoid being whacked by boards. Halling looked thoroughly confused as he saw Al running down the path toward him.

"Do I know you?" he asked when Al caught up with him.

"It's me, it's Alphonse Elric!" said Al, out of breath from running. Halling thought for a moment, then broke into a wide, welcoming grin.

"I'm glad you've taken that armor off, boy! Where's Edward?" Halling searched the street, "Where's your diabolical pipsqueak brother who saved our town?"

"He's on another mission. The automail robberies." explained Al.

"I'm afraid we don't get much news here in Youswell. Here, walk with me while I make this delivery and tell me why you're here, then we'll go to the inn and you can tell me about Edward."

"Well, I'm here for an inspection…" Al trailed off, as if Halling might suddenly turn unpleasant. When he did not, Al continued, explaining how he had become a State Alchemist and his current focus in his studies. That topic took them all the way back to the inn, where, after Al and Halling had been supplied with supper, Al began talking about Ed. It drew quite a crowd, and each person was curious about Edward's mysterious disappearance, reappearance, and sudden disappearance over the last few years. Their questions drove Al into he and Ed's journey through the other world. Al was careful, however, to not mention anything about homunculi, the Philosopher's Stone, and never let on that his armor had been empty on his last trip to Youswell. Al was sure everyone thought their journey was the result of alchemy gone horribly wrong. The townspeople asked so many questions, it took a long time to answer them all. It was dark before Al reached the part of he and Ed's return to Amestris.

"—and you can imagine the look on Ed's face when he found out he was a dad. Twins at that! He loves it, Winry too. I don't think there's anyone he loves more." Al chuckled fondly. He had not, and would not mention Winry's death. The night seemed to be filled only with good thoughts and excitement. He would not ruin it and besides, she was not dead to him.

"The pipsqueak's a father?" Halling guffawed broadly. "I say—but if there isn't anyone more fit to be a father. Except, perhaps, for you Al m'boy!" Halling, whose face had become increasingly red and who now smelled strongly of ale, leaned heavily on Al, pushing a tankard under his nose.

"I'm happy being an uncle." laughed Al, elbowing Halling in the ribs to get him off.

"Anyway," Al pressed on with the story. He told how Roy had come to them, asking for Edward's help in the Ishbalan matter and how Ed was now working for the military again and that he was one of their best engineers. He then explained the automail robberies and that was what Ed was working on now.

"What'dya know," said Halling happily when Al finished. "A father, a dedicated husband, an engineer, an investigator, the hero who saved us from war, and a friend to the people." Halling raised his tankard, "To Edward Elric, the man who'll go to the top of the highest mountain to trap the murderer of a common woman."

"Hear, hear!" the room echoed as the people raised their tankards and clanked them together. Al smiled to himself. He was beginning to see why Mustang had been so insistent on bringing Ed back into the military. Edward really was a hero of the people. Al raised his tankard as well, and lifted it to his lips.

Out of nowhere Halling brought his heavy hand down on Al's shoulders, making Al spit cider back into his tankard. Al looked up. Halling was looking kindly at him.

"And to you, Alphonse. You are not simply the brother of the Fullmetal Alchemist, no. You're a great healer, and you have a gentleness that poor Edward lacks. Your shadow is in many ways greater than the one your brother casts. Tonight, we drink to you as well." Halling held his tankard to Al in honor. Al's face turned crimson. He felt even more embarrassed as he looked around him and saw people nodding in agreement. He looked down shyly as he heard another round of,

"Hear, hear!" and the chink of glasses.

The next morning came far too soon for Al's taste. The bar had not emptied until midnight, and Al and Halling had stayed up for another hour talking.

" 'Morning." Al yawned greatly as he entered the mining site.

"You should be wearing a helmet around here." advised Halling, who, despite his cheery disposition, was sporting dark circles under his eyes.

"I just wanted to review the minerals you've got here. For the report." Al started yelling halfway through his sentence, drilling had begun in the upper mountain. Haults shouted something that Al could not hear.

"What?" bellowed Al. Halling sighed and led Al into a brick building and shut the door. Inside was a simple office. A desk, fireplace, rug and few windows. Al rolled his jaw to pop his ears. The drilling was now nicely muffled.

"Now, what is it you want?" inquired Halling.

"Just a list of minerals in your mine." answered Al.

"Same as what that officer Mullins put down in last year's report. Except, we are finding large amounts of meridium." Al's ears perked.

"Meridium?" he repeated.

"Yeah, nasty stuff. We're finding pocket of it everywhere. If we're not careful, it'll sometimes get into the machines, it's a nightmare! If that's not bad enough, you can't even use it, it's not solid enough."

"Maybe you can't." said Al excitedly, "But meridium has excellent biological purposes."

"It's not exactly what the doctor ordered." said Halling skeptically.

"It's not used commonly only because of its immense power. A normal doctor would opt for safer means, but to an alchemist, its use is almost limitless! When can I see it? Can I have a sample? I'll pay you." Al requested eagerly.

"A sample? Pay me? I should pay you to get the load of it off my hands. If you want the goo, it's yours."

"Really? Thank you so much, you don't know what this means to me!"

"Come by the site after we finish for today, around 4:30. We'll finish up your report and you can collect your precious ooze."

"Thank you!" Halling nodded and exited the office, back into the bustling mines. Al smiled happily out the window, all tiredness washed from him. He had a surprise in mind for Ed when he returned.


	8. Chapter 8

lil-lilac86 informed me that I haven't updated in nearly two months! I'm so sorry guys...friends making stupid decisions+mexico+college+work+deadly writer's blockme not posting for a long time. But two months...I couldn't allow that. I've been writing all day, and this is a portion of what I've come up with. Anyway, two major things going on in this chapter. I don't know what to call it...x.x Yeah, so thank lil-lilac86. Even though she thinks that Winry's not dead. Pfft!

* * *

Roy traversed the corners of his office, looking for anything interesting. He had already cleaned the windows and managed to dodge Colonel Leigh and now he was bored. He was beginning to think he should have gone with Edward, if only to alleviate his boredom. His research on the Ishbalan terrorist cell had hit a solid brick wall. The terrorists were most likely less than a hundred in number, so they were very tricky to find. In Fuhrer Bradley's days, a platoon would have already been dispatched on a 'search and destroy' mission. Never again. Roy was adamant about that. He would never lay his hands on an Ishbalan again. They were a persecuted people and for what? Having different views?

Roy sat back in his chair and spun. Not even Riza was there to talk with. She had been almost non-existent since they had agreed on a date. He was still confused about that. Riza was a very private person. Roy decided to blame it on her lack of sleep lately. He knew full well what it felt like. The things that seemed okay before suddenly became objects of great stress to the sleep-deprived officer. Some of the dumbest things Roy had ever said were because he had not been sleeping.

_What about the other dumb things you say?_ Ed's voice asked inside his head. Roy cracked his head purposely on the window behind him. He missed the sarcastic Edward so much he was insulting himself. For some reason, Roy was reminded of his favorite insult Ed had ever given him.

"_I'll never die before you, you morally bankrupt colonel with a god-complex."_

When Hughes had related that to him, Roy had had to struggle to keep from laughing.

Hughes…Roy should go visit Gracia and Elicia. It had been a while. Ryan and Anna were staying with them too. He could clock out early and spend the rest of—the phone buzzed loudly, interrupting Roy's thoughts.

"Colonel Mustang." he said tiredly.

"Colonel? Colonel! You've got to come to Sorrel St., now!" shouted a frantic voice on the other side.

"What's going on?" Roy's interest peaked.

"A –en—st—es—off!" Static smeared the voice. Roy's interest turned to worry.

"I can't hear you, repeat!"

"—said—or—di—ter—bomb—lan—" The line cut off. Roy sat frozen, the phone in his hand. He had clearly understood one word: bomb. He cast the phone aside and streaked out of his office. He did not register anything in the hallway, he just kept moving. He had to get word to the higher-ups, he—Roy was nearly knocked backwards.

"Where's the fire Colonel?" said a deep, familiar voice.

"General Armstrong!" said Roy, looking up.

"Would you care to join me in the cafeteria…"

"A bomb's gone off on Sorrel St., sir!" said Roy quickly. There was a moment where Armstrong was in shock, just as Roy had been. The next moment Armstrong's voice was booming throughout the halls. Roy rushed around him, grabbing the first soldiers who entered the hall.

"I'm going ahead!" Roy informed Armstrong hastily before clambering into the weapons locker. If he was correct, and he normally was, the thing he feared most had finally happened, the Ishbalan terrorists had launched an attack.

"Ouch!" Edward grunted as a bit of rock tumbled off the mountain. He swore at the rock, massaging his throbbing head. He waited a minute for the pain to subside before relocating his trail. It had taken him nearly a full day to find it. He could not say for sure that robbers were on this path or not, but it was clear that someone was using it, and they were very picky about covering their trail. If it were not for his bolt, he may never have found it.

The night before Ed had lain down to sleep in some bushes (he was not keen to be seen by anyone) only to place his ear right on top of a bolt. After thoroughly searching the area he also found a pipe with a dried red substance on the end; he was pretty sure this was blood. Both of these clues had led him to discover a very faint trail.

His curiosity had peaked however and he was going to follow this trail right to the robbers. Of course, it was also possible that he would find a crazy hermit who was anal about people locating him and the pipe was what he had used to kill his squirrel for dinner and the bolt was what he had used to hang it up on. At any rate, it was worth checking out.

"Right, crazy hermit or murdering robbers, gotta find out." Ed huffed and continued up the mountain, talking to himself. It helped to pass time, and it helped greatly in not thinking about anything too deeply. If he did, he was not sure he would be able to obey Al's request; _Don't you even think about dying up there._

Unfortunately, it was becoming too dark to investigate the trail further. Progress had become slow; soon he would be forced to stop altogether.

"Just a bit more, just through the brush…" he coaxed his aching legs forward. He took in a large breath of air as he pushed out of the brush. The trail had led him to a cliff overlooking a completely uninhabited valley. Even in his exhausted state, he had to appreciate the overwhelming beauty of it all.

There were no houses or town clogging up the wilderness. It was a huge, snowy white expanse. The moon shone brightly on fresh snow, making it sparkle. It was as bright as day. The mountains in the background were a calming gray, mist rose off them, stretching toward the clear, starry heavens. The air was clear and refreshingly sharp. It made the moon so much more potent. Even clear nights in Risembul did not reach this magnitude. There were no crickets chirping here, no birds, there was just a beautiful silence, broken by nothing. It was captivating. He wanted to stay here, in this moment, in this perfect moment…just he and…

Ed tore his eyes away from the shining moon. He had forgotten. There was no one with him. He hastily shook the thought off. He could not afford to break down on a mountain cliff. He took out his coverings for the night, passing over the food. He did not feel especially hungry. Ed lay down and tried to sleep.

However, it seemed that sleep was another thing that did not want to be with him tonight. He hated it; he wished he had brought Al with him. Even Mustang. He loathed and dreaded being alone with his thoughts. Unwatched they carried him to places he never wanted to visit, never wanted to know had happened…

"Fine!" Edward let out a frustrated groaned and sat up. He stuffed his coverings back into his bag. The moon made it light enough to continue, didn't it? Screw sleep. He flung his bag over his shoulder and began searching for a way down the—his eyes caught a flickering light traveling over the white expanse. If it had been daylight he never would have noticed, but the light of the moon and the cool tones of night made even the smallest flame impossible to overlook.

For that matter, Ed was suddenly aware of how obvious he was, dressed in his red coat. Any attempt by alchemy to hide himself would only give away his position. He was very doubtful that whoever it was down there would greet a stranger with enthusiasm. He was even more doubtful that either one of them could sneak up on the other without being noticed. Any attempt to camouflage himself by alchemy would give away his position more than anything else. However, there was a good chance that the person in the valley had not yet noticed him, and therefore he had the element of surprise. A head on attack seemed to be the best strategy.

"Right. Here goes." Ed whispered, crouching on the balls of his feet.

Edward leapt into the air, meaning to soar off the cliff, but—

"Aah!" Ed gave a shout of pain as a hand wrapped around his braid and yanked him back down.

"Don't think so shorty." Ed opened his watering eyes. There were two thick boots on either side of his head.

"Yer not as clever as yeh think yeh are." sneered a second voice. "We've been followin' yeh fer 'bout six hours now." Ed flung his body into a handstand. He heard a shout, but did not hesitate to see how much damage had been done. He continued with his original plan and hurdled off the cliff.

The snow was deep and it cushioned his fall. He hit the ground running. He dashed toward the light. The light was stopped; apparently the holder was not sure what to do. Then, the light began moving rapidly back the way it came.

"No you don't!" cried Ed. He clapped his hands together and pushed them into the snow. The ground rocked like waves. There was a shriek of surprise up ahead, and the light fell. He made to run again, but was once more jerked back by his hair. Ed spun around on his right heel; his hair flew out of the braid. He threw his left foot over a man's shoulder and brought his metal heel across the man's skull, landing a follow-up blow in his side.

The victory was short lived. It did not take long for Edward to realize that the two men were not alone. He did not know when it happened, but very soon he was surrounded by at least five more people, their gleaming red eyes beating into him. Ed clapped his hands again and transmuted his arm grill.

"Come on then!" he shouted boldly. His word was heeded. The group dove at him. Ed clambered over a couple shoulders and managed to escape the circle. _Fight one on one, _he told himself, _that's it, keep running._ And he did. He raced around the snowy flats attempting to draw the group into a line.

For the third time he was halted from the back. Someone had caught the large collar of his coat. He chambered his leg and landed a sidekick in 'someone's gut. A tremendous ripping sound echoed throughout the valley. Snow crunched behind him. Ed whipped around, hair flying over his face, and thrust his transmuted arm grill blindly at his enemy.

It missed. His hair fell out of his eyes in time to see a broad man grab his automail with thick fingers. Ed was lifted off the ground. He kicked the man wildly in the gut, but there was such a cushion there that the kick did nothing. The man grinned knowingly at him and gave Ed's arm an almighty yank.

Edward howled in pain as nerves disconnected from automail. He fell to his knees in the snow, clutching his right shoulder stump. He rolled to the side to avoid a heavy boot, but even as he struggled up again, he knew it was useless. There were eight men ten feet away from him, all glaring at him with pure hatred. A broad, medium height sized fellow strolled to him, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder. Ed forced his left foot into his opponent's chest. The man doubled over, but only for a second. Ed spun every way he could think of; knowing full well that each blow struck meant one back.

Yet again, his coat was caught.

"No more dancing in the snow kid." And his coat was ripped clean off. A wide hand thumped against his chest. With a nasty sound of cracking bone, Edward was thrown clean off his feet, landing on his back in the snow. Coughing, he rolled onto his knees. A shadow passed in front of the moonlight. He looked up. All eight men were standing in close circle around him, making escape impossible. Edward hung his head and gritted his teeth. He hoped it would not take long for him to pass out.

Roy jumped out of the truck before it had stopped moving. The people who had scattered initially were now trying to break past the wall of military soldiers.

"We'll do our best to find your daughter ma'am, please…" Roy heard an officer try desperately to explain.

"Colonel!" A private slammed into Roy, stuffing a white box in his hand. "We need first aid on the field!" Roy did not hesitate to question, he took the first aid kit and ran to a house and started digging through the rubble. It wasn't long before he saw a small hand poking out. He drew a hasty rune on the ground and tapped it. The rock sank into the ground, leaving a twisted figure in its wake. Roy shook it gingerly. The child moaned, his eye twitched.

"Wake up! You can't sleep right now, your head's bleeding." ordered Roy, pouring water over the boy's forehead.

"What happened?"

"There was an attack." answered Roy quickly. "Can you move your foot?" The boy twitched his foot.

"Good." Roy breathed. "That means your back isn't broken. You're lucky. Here, sit up." He helped the boy to sit against what was left of the wall.

"Was it the Ishbalan?" asked the boy weakly.

"What Ishbalan?" said Roy sharply.

"The one…he ran…" the boy pointed to some place in the distance. Then his hand fell, he started to slide on the wall.

"No! You have to stay awake, do you understand? _Do you understand_?" There was no use. Roy did not check his pulse, he did not need to. The boy was gone. Without thinking, he stepped out of the ruined house and began running down the street in the direction the boy had pointed. Maybe there was still time, maybe the attacker had been injured as well.

"Where are you going Mustang?!" a booming voice called to him. Armstrong would have to wait, Roy thought. He could not afford to slow down; he had to keep running, for the sake of that boy, for the sake of the city…Roy fell hard into the cobblestone road. He peered blearily through his tearing eyes. There was a woman on top of him. She grabbed his coat, shaking it.

"Where's my little girl, can't you find her? Please! Please tell me where she is, find her!"

"I c-can't…" Roy stammered. A flash of red filled the brown color of her eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut, unsure what he had seen. He opened them again. The brown had not returned, her eyes were as red as rubies. Roy gasped in shock and scrambled away from her. She only held on tighter.

"You're supposed to be helping us!" she screamed, "Why won't you find my daughter, you were supposed to keep her safe! Why don't you know where she is?"

"I don't…" At last Marco and Kimbly pulled her off. Roy stared at them.

"You're not…you're dead!" he stuttered.

"Colonel? Are you okay?" asked Marco, worriedly. Roy looked franticly around him. He was no longer at Sorrel St., he wasn't even in Central.

Flames were erupting all around him, flames he had set. He could General Gran fighting in the next street over, pleas for mercy, and Gran's laughter. _This isn't right, Gran, Marco and Kimbly are dead…_Roy ran further down the street. Someone here had to know what going on…But the end of the street did not lead back to Central. He was in the desert, in the place he recognized horribly as Ishbal.

"No…" he whispered "No, I don't want to go back, _take me away from this place!_" Out of the corner of his eye he saw a gray cloak flicker down an alley. Instinctively, he ran after it, clutching his chest. The smoke from the fires was stinging his lungs, he could not breathe, but he had to keep running.

"Hey! HEY!" he yelled at the figure ahead. It turned its eyes over its shoulder, and in the orange hue birthed by fire and smoke, Roy saw its ruby eyes, the eyes of Ishbal. It was them, why did they have to attack? It had been years, the military had left them alone! Anger swelled in Roy's chest like the flames around him. They were why that boy had died, they were why so many had been lost, and it was because of them that Edward was back in the military. The full meaning of it all flew down his arm into his glove, and Roy Mustang did not hesitate to snap.

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Muahahaha... 


	9. The Room

And now I'm back! From outer space! Seriously. Ah my friends, rough times for me. Love, loss, and the great continuum. Ladies, be careful which men you allow in and that's all I'll say on the matter. I am happy that people keep adding this story to their Alert/Favorites list. I lobve you guys! And no, that's not a typo. Soon I'll be very busy again, but I'll try and powerhouse through this. It's a decent sized chapter, I hope to have another up soon. New Fullmetal Alchemist series! I feel so out of date with this story now, but the first series was a good 'un too!

Edward clutched his elbow close to his body. There was a dull, thudding pain in his right shoulder where his arm had been ripped out. His bare back ached from shivering. He wanted to draw his legs to his chest, but he had been packed so tightly amongst cargo that it was impossible. He could not open his left eye, it was crusted shut. He could feel a dry line of blood running from his temple to his lashes. His right eye saw nothing but wood grain of the boxes. His ribs hurt from exposure to the cold and bruising from the fight. It was so hard to breathe. With every gulp freezing air struck his lungs raw. He wouldn't be able to draw breath much longer, the pain was too great.

The wagon he was in hit a bump. A crate slid off its perch and crushed his fleshy shoulder. Edward cried out as the corner of the crate barreled into his shoulder and nailed it to floor of the wagon. The only attention he roused was a thump to his head from above. He was surprised that it didn't hurt. He supposed that his tired, thick, foggy head, had been through too much today to feel anything more.

It didn't feel like sleep, more like a haze of pain and confusion. But Edward knew he hadn't been conscious because he did not remember the wagon stopping. When he came to however, it had. There was a flickering light now, somewhere above him. Someone must have moved a crate, all of a sudden some pressure behind him was gone and he flopped onto his back.

"State Alchemist!?" Edward pulled his good eye open enough to peer through his lashes. There were two men, very fuzzy, standing at the end of the wagon.

"Not just any." A man lifted up a metallic arm.

"Fullmetal?" The second man inspected it.

"We've got the hero of the people," said the first, grinning maliciously. A warm hand, something that seemed other worldly and unreal on his cold skin, grasped his right ankle and pulled. Ed thought his knee might break off. He hit a stone floor and yelled in pain. One of the men to a stick to his side, nailing a bruised pocket of flesh. Edward did not cry out this time, but swallowed the pain. Someone began to move, and he along along for the ride, his automail leg scraping useless against the stone.

It was not a long trip. Only a minute or so later he stopped. There was a sound of a large wheel rolling on gravel, then a gruff hand on his arm pulled him upright.  
"Treat him," said a rough voice. His captor shoved him forward. His right leg numb and his left immobile, Edward expected to fall once again on cold, hard ground. As his legs failed him however, he was caught by something warm and soft. He heard the sound of the wheel again. Edward tried to lift his head to see who was so kind as to not let him smack the ground, but he found he couldn't bear to lift his head and he gave up.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice cracking from strain and exhaustion. "Please, just give me a blanket…a shirt…let me lay down." When he was set down it was not onto rock and threadbare blanket like he wanted. His body sank into soft leather and fur. A thick, full blanket was tucked under his shoulders. Even though he was still shivering, he felt completely cut off from the cold. He couldn't remember ever being warmer. He felt water and cloth on his face.

"No…" He nudged the hand frailly away. "Leave it, I don't care. Just let me sleep, please…" He finished the words just before he fell into a very deep, enveloping slumber.

He was awake but did not wish to open his eyes. He was very warm and he did not hurt, though he knew as soon as he tried to move he would startle all of his sore muscles. His sleep had been so fulfilling, dark, comfortable, and dreamless that he wished nothing more than to return there for a few more hours. Yet he rolled onto his back, an action that was relatively painless, for it was onto a squishy mattress and deliciously soft fur. He lay for a few moments more, still not wanting to open his eyes, but he did. His left eye still felt stiff, but there was no longer any caked blood in his lashes. He touched his head. It was bandaged in several different places, as was his arm, leg, and torso. He felt like an old quilt that people kept patching together out of sheer necessity. His eyes roamed around the room. To the right of him a fire burned in an ugly but functional fireplace. It looked like it had been created only to serve basic need. He was sitting in a mass of fur and blankets. It was not a bed, if anything it was more of a nest. There were a few pans, kettles and buckets lying about, most of them empty. The far corner was too dark to see, it was out of range of the fire's light. It took a moment for Ed's eyes to adjust to this portion of the room. Once they did, he realized that at the very edge of the fire's light was a curled mass on the threadbare blanket he would have been so happy to have before.

"Hello?" asked Ed. The lump did not move. "Did you do all this? You can come down by the fire you know, I'm just a prisoner. I don't dare to sit up, let alone attack." After a few more seconds of nothing Ed started to wonder if the lump was really a person at all.

"Come on, at least answer me. Let me talk to someone. I've no idea what's going on." The lump stirred and sat up. It moved around in the corner a bit, then stopped suddenly. Ed had the oddest feeling of locking eyes with someone he could not see. The figure rose and moved toward him. His heart thumped against his ribs. His eyes prickled with water and all desire to return to sleepy darkness vanished. His companion knelt beside him.

"I buried you myself," he choked. "This isn't real. I'm dreaming again." But he touched her blonde, her pale skin, her neck, waist…and it felt very real, more true than his truest dreams. He did dare to sit up, and ignored the pain that came with it.

"I held you in my arms…and you died." The words were garbled, he was shaking too much. His body trembled and shivered as bad as it had in the cold. He would wake up now, home and in an empty bed, he was sure of it. But the moments passed, and he stilled stared into Winry's blue eyes. He didn't wake up. He wrapped his arm around Winry and held her as close to him as he could. The most unbelievable thing happened then. He felt himself in her arms too. He buried his face into her shoulder and wept.

"Oh my God, oh my God!" And for the first time, he was thanking the one who had heard his prayers, because this certainly wasn't alchemy.

"Winry," her name was warm on his tongue, "You don't know, you've no idea how many times I…" he gripped her back, "I woke up believing you were beside me, or I dreamt you had gone downstairs to make breakfast, and I really thought you had until I went down and you weren't there. How?" He released her enough to look properly at her. Winry smiled and wiped the tears from his face. She looked to be on the verge of crying herself.

"How?" Ed asked again.

Winry gazed sadly at him and patted her throat. Ed stared at her, horrified.

"What happened?" She smiled and waved her hand. "Nothing my ass." His heart hammered not with anxiety now but with heat. Edward brushed her hair back. The outline of a hand was printed around her neck. For a moment, all he could do was gape at it.

"Oh, someone is going to burn! Who did this to you?" Winry took his face in her hands. He looked incredulously at her and for the first time, took her in completely.

Her hair was dirty and unbrushed. There were cuts and marks all over her body and now that she was next to the fire Ed could see a large, oozy green bruise on the left side of her face. Ed grabbed the soiled brown cloth she wore as a dress. Winry laid a hand on his arm and shook her head. Ed glared at her, working his jaw furiously and pulled up on the cloth anyway. The cuts extended to her abdomen, and deep slashes ran around her back. Her ribs and hips stuck out painfully clear.

He couldn't find the words. He truly thought his insides would be cooked by the rage inside him. He burned, right into his fingertips, straight into the right hand he didn't have.

"They've been torturing you, hurting you, starving you…" he spluttered, "Why? You know what? I don't even care why. I'm gonna…" He thrust his fist into the air. His muscles complained, but it was tolerable. He tucked his legs under him and made to stand, but—

"Ah!" He didn't get very far. The moment he tried to move his torso and put weight on his legs, his muscles seized up. He fell back into the blankets, panting. His very breath stabbed him and he was forced to take very quick, very shallow breaths. Winry stroked his hair. She took exaggerated, deep breaths, motioning for him to do the same. It took a while, but breathing became easier.

"I hope," said Ed darkly, "That my recovery time isn't as long as I think. The second my muscles stop spasming and seizing, I'm going to kill whoever's responsible for this." Winry took his face in both her hands.

"I'm fine," she mouthed, giving him a weak smile.

"Bullshit," said Ed sourly. He frowned at the blankets. Winry lay beside him, ran her fingers through his hair, kissed his neck, and it was very hard to remain sullen for long. Ed sighed deeply, closed his eyes and let his head roll onto Winry's shoulder.

"This is messed up," he chuckled dryly, "All of this. If only you could tell me what's going on, how it is you're alive. How you've been alive the past four months while I was wishing I was dead." Winry's hand stopped moving through his hair. He felt a drop hit his face. He opened his eyes. Winry covered her mouth with her hand and her eyes seemed to look at him under a pool of water. The rim of her lids and her nose had suddenly turned a violent shade of red.

"No!" said Ed quickly, "Oh no, I shouldn't have said a thing, please don't....None of this is your fault, it's over now. Give me your hand." Edward easily wrapped his hand around Winry's and pulled it away from her face.

"I kept thinking I was responsible, that if that hadn't happened when we took Ryan and Anna to their playdate, everything would have been fine. If I'd been able to say what you meant to me…" Winry opened her mouth, but the only sound that came out was a forced gasping noise.

"Don't even try. I should've been able to say it. It just seemed like it would all go away if I said anything. It was so stupid. Every day since the funeral I've wished that I told you every day. I love you so much Winry. Don't cry for my mistakes. Come on, just sit with me. I'll tell you about our move to Central."

"…and Roy had on an apron and a chef's hat. I knew he was only doing it to try and get a rise out of me so I had to ignore him. Still, you should ask him to do it again when we get back. I've been thinking about it and we're going to host an amazing party. We'll make Roy cook. Ryan and Anna won't believe thi…" There was a crunching sound of stone and light flooded in from an opening across the room.

"Winry, your detention is over. You may return to your duties." The deep voice sounded familiar, but Ed could not quite place it. The man it belonged to was tall and muscular. Ed's mouth dropped an inch. The eyes of the man were crimson. Winry got up and walked to him. Ed tried to stand as well, but his bruised body, so acclimated to lying down, denied him. The man took Winry's chin in his hands.

"How's that bruise healing?" he asked. Once again Winry patted her throat. "Still can't speak huh? Don't worry, Dakirin served the same detention time as you for his actions. But now that you're out I'll get you some leaves for tea. How's our guest?" He nodded to Ed. Winry placed her hands on her hips and glared. The man made to move toward Ed. Winry stuck a halting hand on his stomach. The man glanced at her momentarily and moved around. Winry followed close at his side.

"My name is Reiran. I heard some men talking about you. There's a rumor that you're the Fullmetal Alchemist. I'm not sure I believe it. I always imagined the hero of the people as a much taller person than you." A long-dormant nerve inside him twitched. Ed swallowed his tongue.

"You're right. He's probably taller," said Ed.

"Then again, there's those metal limbs of yours."

"Ha!" Ed laughed sharply, "Do you accuse everyone with automail of being the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

"I heard he was working on a case that may have brought him up this way," snipped Reiran.

"You hear a lot of things but none of it seems to be based on fact," said Ed. He was feeling increasing dislike for the man in front of him. Reiran rolled his head around his neck.

"Fine. We'll stop playing games. We know you're the Fullmetal Alchemist and that you have knowledge that would help us quite a bit."

"And I know you're responsible for the string of automail store robberies and the murder of at least two people. Is that why you kidnapped her?" He pointed to Winry. "You needed a mechanic?"

"Yes, we did."

"Are you the one who did this to her?" Ed demanded.

"She and Dakirin got into a bit of a scuffle."  
"A scuffle?" Ed roared, "A scuffle accounts for all the lashes and bruises, and why she's so thin?" A sharp pain struck the inside of his chest. His muscles were threatening to seize up again. Reiran reached down and grabbed Edward's wrist tightly. He lifted Ed a few inches off the bed. Ed's body hollored in pain, but he determined not to show it on his face.

"If my body were as broken as yours I'd endeavor to be a little more courteous to the only people around to care for me." Edward didn't think about it. He spat on Reiran's face. No sooner had he done so than he saw a fist coming at him. He closed his eyes, but the blow never landed. Instead, he plopped back on the bed.

Winry was shoving Reiran back toward the door. Ed was sure that if she had her voice it would have filled the entire room.

"Fine then! He's your responsibility Winry! You had better continue doing your job too, or I'll—" Ed never knew what Reiran would do if Winry didn't do her job, because just then she succeeded in pushing him out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10

ZOMG! I may actually finish this thing...o_O

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Roy woke with a start, without knowing what had woken him. He felt adrenaline surging through him, his heart was pounding; he must've had a horrible dream…but he couldn't remember it. He put a hand to his head. What had happened? He had been chasing down an Ishbalan…in Ishbal? No, that couldn't be right. It was here, in Central that he met the Ishbalan. Wasn't it? He remembered Marcoh, Gran, and Kimbly, but that too was impossible for all of them were dead. The only thing he was sure of, was that he had fired on the Ishbalan.

Roy felt a rush of guilt. He could say that he had only used alchemy on the Ishbalan to capture him, but it wasn't true. He had been angry.

Roy tried to shake off the feeling of guilt, and pushed himself up to get a better look at his surroundings. As he sat up a thick, purple, down comforter flopped off him. He had been sleeping on a couch in a completely unfamiliar apartment. There was a coffee table to his right that held a steaming cup of green tea. Next to the fireplace, a wooden stand supported a radio that was at least ten years old. A clock on the wall told him it was a quarter past noon.

Roy blinked a couple times and stared at the clock for a few seconds. Then his heart started hammering for quite a different reason. He was unbelievably late for work. Roy looked down at his garments. The last time he checked, he'd been wearing his uniform, but now he was clad in pinstripe pajamas. Franticly wondering where he was going to find a uniform Roy swung his feet on to the floor and jumped up—

"AYE!" The floor gave a tremendous yelp and ran out from under Roy's feet. He fell back against the couch.  
"Hayate!" Roy cried in alarm. Riza's dog, Hayate was crawling into a corner of the room, looking offended and hurt. But what on earth was Hayate doing in such a strange place?

_You idiot_…said a voice inside his head. He must be in Riza's apartment. If that was the case, then she had gone to work without waking him. He had to find a phone, call the office, and admonish her for leaving him. How dare she leave her commanding officer asleep while the country was in such a state! He put his feet on the floor again (more carefully this time) and made to stand up again, but before he was halfway up, the door opened with a bang.

"Sir, I know you're frustrated but there's really no reason to take it out on my dog!" said Riza sharply as she entered the room. So sharply in fact, that Roy lost his balance and fell back down.

"I didn't mean to, I didn't see him!"

"In that case maybe you'll think twice the next time you wish to make a rash movement, now that you know how it can hurt innocent animals." Riza gave Hayate a consoling glance. "But," she said, turning to him, "I am glad you woke up. You were in a sweat most of the night."

Roy's ears had been filled with a buzz. Riza was out of uniform. He'd only ever seen her out of uniform once before, and it was as strange and unnatural now as it was then. Her long hair hung loose about her shoulders, and she wore denim pants, a dark green button up shirt, and pink slippers. She was also carrying a tray of food. It was just so _weird_.

"You're not going in and neither am I! There are plenty of officers and workmen to clean up the city and handle the prisoner while you rest up. Central is not going to benefit from the leadership of an exhausted president! Now eat!" Riza thrust the tray onto his lap. She had arranged two overeasy eggs and a strip of bacon into a smiley face. A glass of orange juice and a bowl of soup also stood on the tray. Roy almost laughed. Of all the things that would surprise him, he never would have expected Riza to give him a smiling breakfast.

"Yes ma'am," he said, and began to eat. "So, we have a prisoner?"

"The one you shot down." Roy paused, but quickly stuffed more egg into his mouth.

"Is he hurt?"

"He's a bit charred around the edges, but there's no lasting damage."

"Was it him?" asked Roy.

"He's claiming innocence. He says he moved here to start a new life." Guilt prodded Roy again.

"I'll want to speak with him."

"You'll have the chance"

"Also, what am I doing here?"

"The hospitals are all filled up, so I graciously brought you to my home."

"You didn't have to do that, thank you." All of a sudden, Riza's face split into a wide grin.

"I know something you don't know," she said heartily.

"I'm sure. What is it?"

"The top military generals had a meeting last night. They've decided that this country has gone too long without a leader. They elected you president." Roy stopped sipping his soup. He thought that even the soup itself halted halfway to his stomach.

"They what?" Riza nodded. Roy's mind spun to process this information. He always thought he'd be prepared, and this is what he wanted but…

"How am I supposed to make things better when I just shot down an Ishbalan who was innocent?" Riza's smile faded.

"Roy, he was running."

"Everybody was running. I burned him because he was Ishbalan. I was angry with him for killing all those innocent people. I swore I'd never hurt another Ishbalan." Roy said this all very quickly. Riza touched his shoulder.

"Roy, you will do what is necessary. That's why you were chosen. There is no right or wrong."

"Yeah, well…"

The phone rang, for which Roy was thankful. He hadn't known what to say. Riza answered. The person on the other end of the line must have been talking quickly, because Riza had barely said half a 'hello' before falling silent.

"It's for you," she said, holding the phone out to Roy. "It's Al." Roy took the phone curiously.

"Hel—"

"Colonel!" Al's voice bursted in his ear, "Have you heard from Ed?"

"No, he's investigating a case up nor—"

"I know! That's just it, we were supposed to rendevous three days ago. It doesn't seem he's even been in this town and I haven't heard from him at all!"

"That doesn't mean anything, it's only a few days, give it a little more—"

"But I called Gracia too, and she hasn't heard anything either! I know he wouldn't have gone more than two days without calling Anna and Ryan, but Gracia says the last she heard of him was when he dropped the kids off with her. He was up in the mountains, but he wasn't supposed to be there for very long."

"What? Al, which mountain range was he investigating?"

"Burrus."

"Where are you?"

"A town called Yaxel."

"Ok, stay there."

"Stay there!" Roy repeated. "I'll be there by morning with as many officers as I can find."

"What's going on?"

"I'll tell you when I get there." Roy hung up. He set his breakfast tray on the coffee table.

"Everyone's out helping to clean up the city and restore order," said Riza seriously, "It'll be difficult finding people."

"Call Breda, Fuery, and the others. Armstrong too. Tell him to round up fifty of his best." Roy stood up.

"He won't be pleased."

"Also call Briggs and tell them they can take a break from guarding the north border. I want all the information and maps they have of the Burrus mountain range. Have them start studying the maps, tell them they're looking for any trails that a wagon could possibly travel, or paths that lead into caves. If anyone complains, tell them that this is a direct order from the President. Do you have any clothes that might fit me?"

"Yes, sir. May I ask what's happened?"

"Fullmetal's been captured."


	11. Chapter 11

Another update? I may actually finish! This one is a little short, but I think it's significant. Oh, I re-uploaded chapter 18 of Redemption. Ed's homecoming is a little fuller and tastier now, but not much else is different.

Thanks for sticking with me guys!

* * *

Ed improved slowly over the next few days, but his injuries were so severe that even after a week he was still pinned in bed by his own body.

"I think I'm getting bedsores too," he joked to Winry. Despite being locked in the same room, Ed hardly ever saw Winry. He was sleeping a lot, and during the short periods he was awake, the only glimpse of Winry he had was of her sitting in the far corner of the room. He had no idea what she was doing there. The lamp she had set on the table provided only enough light for her. Winry's voice still hadn't come back, and she was unable to tell him what she was doing.

"Winry," he croaked softly. He pushed himself into a seated position and cleared his throat. "Winry." He still sounded a bit like a frog, but the figure in the far corner moved. "Water." Ed motioned to a jug just outside his grip. Winry picked it up and helped Ed hold it steady on his lips. A bit of water still managed to trickle down his front.

"I don't get it it Winry," Ed started, "It's been a week, and I still can't move my left leg. At first I thought it was because I was too beat up but…maybe I am still too sore. What do you think?" Edward asked without expecting an answer.

"It's the cold," said Winry. Her voice was very quiet and strained.

"What?"

"The extreme cold here in northern Amestris. Your automail wasn't made for this cold a climate, it froze. Don't worry, I found out how to counteract the effects months ago."

"You spoke," said Ed dumbly.

"I do that," Winry smiled, "From time to time."

"But you couldn't a few hours ago…"

Winry touched his face soothingly.

"Sweetie, that was two days ago. You haven't woken up much more than a daze. I'm not surprised, your body's exhausted."

"You're joking! Ugh!" Ed exclaimed. "At this rate it'll be forever before I'll be able to walk, let alone fight. I want to get out, I want to take you home!"

"You're too impatient Edward. I want to go home too, more than anything, but there's nothing we can do about it so relax."

Ed rolled his shoulders. They were sore and stiff, but it felt good to move some part of his body. He picked off a line of dried pus from his eyelashes. He suddenly felt very vulnerable. He had never been in this bad a shape before, and in such an uncertain situation.

"Winry, wait," said Ed as Winry made to get up. "Sit with me awhile."

"I have to get back to work."

"Winry…" Winry looked at him for a long moment, then settle down next to him. Ed took her hand in his. "I still don't know how it is you're alive."

Winry dropped her gaze, and focused instead on their joined hands.

"I can't say I know either. One minute I was with you and Roy, and the next I was stumbling through fields in the middle of a thunderstorm."

"How'd you get out of the coffin?" Winry furrowed her brow.

"Coffin?"

"We had your funeral. I…I buried you myself." Ed cast his eyes down too. He felt a hot, prickling sensation under eyelids. He bit the inside of his lip. He was not going to cry. He squeezed Winry's hand. _She's right there, _he told himself sternly, _she's real_.

"I, uh, really don't know about that. I just remember waking up face-down in mud." Winry sounded uncomfortable. Ed smirked, in spite of himself. The last time he had been on the verge of tears around her was when he'd accidently let go of his balloon. He'd been about seven years old.

Ed kissed her forehead. He motioned for her to sit with him awhile.

"I can't," she said dimly. "I've got so much work to do."

"Come on…what is it that's so import—" Ed stopped mid-sentence. He felt like the fog that had clouded his thoughts for the past two weeks was finally lifting.

"Winry…" he said slowly. "A few minutes ago, did you say you'd found out how to adapt automail to this climate?"

"Yes," she answered quietly. She wasn't looking at him, not directly anyway. She was looking past him, avoiding his eyes.

"They brought me here in a wagon, and there's no way they were out hunting. That wagon was full of crates. It was automail, right? You've been making automail for them, haven't you?"

"These people are survivors of the Ishbal war. If you had seen them…Reiran found me when I was wandering. He had already heard of me when I told him who I was. He asked me to help and I said 'yes'." Ed stared blankly at her.

"The automail store robberies…"

"I went along to choose the parts. Ed, I swear I only took what I needed to help these people. No one got hurt until—"

"What about Mrs. Grane?" and Ed could not keep anger out of his voice. "Her husband was devastated. They started that shop together over twenty years ago!"

"Until Mrs. Grane." Tears started falling down Winry's cheeks. "I tried so hard to stop it. She came down while we were there, she was going to the phone to call the authorities. Dakirin stopped her, he pulled her into the middle of the store and started b-beating her. With the a-automail _I_ m-made for him!" Her voice was shaking so badly it was hard for Ed to understand her. "I g-got in front of him. T-tried to make him stop." She took a deep breath, "Obviously it didn't work. Dakirin threw me against the wall. He just about crushed my neck, I couldn't breath. He didn't say a thing either, he just started hitting me too. That's how I got all this." Winry motioned at her cuts and bruises. "Just before I passed out, there was some paper on the floor…"

" 'North'," said Ed. "It was you who left that note. That's what led me up here."

"If I'd known you were going to be the one who found it, I never would have left it. Edward, they've been wanting you too."

"I wondered why they attacked an innocent camper," Ed spat. His head was working faster than it had since he arrived.

"You're leading the design team to make Amestris's first air fleet. They want you to stop working in Central, and work for them instead.

"Why would—" And then all the circuits connected inside his brain. "The automail thieves and the Ishbalan terrorists are one in the same, aren't they?" Winry nodded.

"I swear I was going to tell you everything, but you've been asleep just about since you got here, and I knew that if you knew what was going on, you'd try to do something and in your condition, you'd just end up hurt even more, or dead, and…" she trailed off.

Ed looked over her pretty face, over the sickly, yellow-green bruises and crusted slashes that marred it, and he couldn't bring himself to feel angry.

"You should've told me first thing," he said darkly, "You've been through a lot these last few months, Winry."

"So have you."

"Right. We shouldn't have to take any more hardships from each other." Winry put her arms around him.

"Thank you."

"Besides, this is the Ishbalan terrorist hideout, right? The one Mustang was after?"

"Yeah…"

"Then we don't have to worry about escaping. It's only a matter of time before he gets here, isn't it?"


	12. The Agent

"Colonel!" Al emerged from the crowded street. He halted in front of Roy and Riza. "I still haven't heard anything!" Al blurted, "I just got off the phone with Gracia again, and Ed still hasn't called her! I only hope Anna and Ryan are too distracted to notice." Al was almost in tears.

"Al," said Roy, "Take a breath. Ed is Ed, he'll be okay." For a moment, Roy thought Al was going to punch him.

"That's just it!" cried Al angrily, "All you people seem to forget, since my brother is so talented, that he's still just human! I lost him once already, I can't do that again!"

Roy put a hand on Al's shoulder.

"Don't you think I have a little more to go on?" Al looked between Roy and Riza with bleary eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Let me treat you to a spot of lunch and I'll tell you."

"What do you mean, he's been captured?" asked Al with the air of waiting for Roy to finish before he started shouting.

"You know he was investigating a string of robberies."

"Yes, but—"

"And my investigation into one of the Ishvalan terrorist cells has led me to believe that they're hiding in the northern mountain range."

"Yes, but—"

"Your brother's investigation of the robberies led him to believe that they were committed by a group hiding in the northern mountain range?"

"_Yes_, but—"

"Don't you think Ishvalan amputees might have a use for automail? Also," Roy cut Al off again, "Don't you think a people who renounce alchemy would also have a use for a military mechanic?"

Al did not respond immediately. He stared into his cup of coffee, and at his untouched scone, thinking. He looked up and raised an eyebrow at Roy.

"Don't _you_ think this is highly circumstantial evidence?" Al asked, as calmly as he could. Roy exchanged a glance with Riza and smirked.

"I know for a fact."

"How?"

A loud noise echoed inside his head. Ed tried to ignore it, but it happened again. It was like a gong. No, not a gong, more like…a bark?" Ed came to with a giant, wet, velvety thing brushing against his cheek. He opened his eyes and looked into a very familiar face.

"Den!" he exclaimed, and reached up to scratch the dog's ears. "I thought I'd never see you again! So this is where you ran off to."

"I thought I'd never see him again either, but he just showed up one day. Kinda like you," Winry smiled. She bent over and kissed him. For a moment, all thought vanished from Ed's mind. Her kiss was still very surreal. He felt flushed when she moved away.

"So, how long was I asleep this time?"  
"Not more than eight or nine hours. You're getting more regular. I brought breakfast for you." She placed a tray on his lap. Though his stomach growled, he didn't eat.

"Winry, you've given me three meals a day since I've been here, but I've never seen you eat anything."

"I'm fine, don't worry. I'm not the one whose body is completely busted."

"Not from where I'm sitting," Ed replied darkly. The bruise on Winry's face had not completely healed in the two weeks he had been here, she seemed to be cleaning new cuts almost every day, and more than once he had seen her hold the wall for support; as if she were about to faint.

"I have survived here for over four months, I'll be fine," insisted Winry.

"Everyone else around here seems pretty healthy, I don't see why Reiran can't spare food for you when—"

"Reiran is doing the best he can. With intelligence excursions, keeping the men in line, and trying to make progress on the airplane…well, he's got a full plate." Ed gaped at her.

"I don't believe it. You're making excuses for him. He _kidnapped_ you, Winry! He took you away from your home, your children, me!"

"I don't know what happened in Risembul, but that's not Reiran's style," a bit of anger entered Winry's voice.

"His style is to kill innocent women in automail shops, Winry!" Ed roared.

"No!" Winry's face was flushed with heat, "He wasn't there; Dakirin led that mission. Reiran left it up to me to control him, and I couldn't. He punished both of us!"

"I can't believe this is you…" said Ed incredulously.

"Then let me explain. I don't know what happened back in Risembul, all I know is that I woke up wandering around in some field, and I probably would have really died if Reiran hadn't saved me. Once he found out who I was, he asked me to help Ishvalans wounded in the war. _We_ started that war, Ed. How could I say no? Reiran has treated me well; he's never laid a hand on me."

"He hasn't let you come back," said Ed quietly, "He's building machines to start a new war."

"Only as a precaution," Winry lowered her voice too, "And he's always promised to let me return home." A long silence followed. Ed pushed his spoon around in his soup. He had a lot to say, but he was unwilling to antagonize Winry further. He wasn't sure what to say. It was true that Amestris had been the aggressors. It was also true that Winry's parents had been doctors on the battlefield, helping wounded Ishvalans. Could he penalize her for wanting to do the same?

"Anyway," Winry broke the silence, "after you finish eating I'll fit you with a new arm and leg. It's been long enough that getting up and about for a while will do you some good."

"Only if you share it with me."

"Ed, that's yours," Winry protested.

"Sit down, and eat with me, or I'm not eating at all." Winry sighed and resignedly sat down.

Al sat stiffly on top of his horse. He had not said a word to Roy in over an hour. He didn't think his voice had returned, which was a shame because he didn't feel like he was done shouting at Roy yet.

"Oh, come on!" said Mustang jovially, "How long are you going to stew like that?"

"Flame bastard," Al hoarsely repeated his brother's line. "At least act ashamed! I can't _believe_ I was going to ask you to be my guardian. How could you do this? This is so _low_. And you, Lieutenant," Al sharply turned his gaze on Riza, "How could you go along with this? Do you have _any_ idea—"

"Yes," Riza interrupted, "He does. This hasn't been easy on him either." Al closed his mouth, but his face darkened with disgust. He glared at the back of Roy's head.

"Al," Roy's voice was still cheery, "You were going to ask me to be your guardian? I'm honored."

"I hate you," Al growled. He regretted saying it as soon as he did. He knew his anger would pass when they reached the mountain.


	13. The Engineer

OMFGWTFWEJROPJDFA! Yeah! An update for anyone who still remotely remembers this story! I'm all re-motivated about this now and whatnot, so yaay! One day I might go and re-upload Redemption and this in a two-month window so someone can read it without the super long hiatus's.

Anyway, I'll give a few reminders if you're a poor sod who last saw an update about 8 months ago.

Winry dead = depressed Ed = worried Roy and Al

Ed works for Investigations and designs airplanes for the military since he spent all that time in our universe (Original FMA and movie premise, with a little Brotherhood being sprinkled in-Briggs).

Ed investigating automail robberies, Roy investigating Ishvalan terrorists-one and the same.

Ed goes into the mountains for investigations, gets the shit beat out of him.

Finds Winry = happy Ed!

Weird connection b/w Ishvalans and Winry. She's fixing up the injured with automail (hence the automail robberies, she need supplies yo!). Roy's on his way there with Riza and Al. He told Al a bunch of stuff, (we dunno what it was) and now Al's kinda pissed at him.

Anna and Ryan (le kiddies) still safe with Gracia back in Central.

That's it, hope it was enough of a reminder!

* * *

The rock ceiling had forty-seven fractures. At least, that's how many Ed was able to count by the low candle-light. He lay spread-eagle on the bed of furs, a bed that was now so comfortable he ached. His back was sore and it felt like the muscles in his legs were getting mushy. Now that he had stopped sleeping so much, the hours when Winry was absent stretched on like beaches.

"How do you do it, Den?" Ed murmured, patting the dog beside him. Den looked blearily at him and nudged Ed's shoulder with his metal paw. Ed flinched at the cold. Staring at his own metal foot, he twitched it experimentally. All five toes moved normally; his ankle flexed too.

"Looks like I'm getting used to this new automail," he told Den. It took about half a second for him to make up his mind.

"Right," he said, standing up. "I'm going for a walk. Wanna come?" Den sniffed at him and then crawled into the warm spot Ed had just vacated.

"Suit yourself." He took a few experimental steps. The automail on his leg was lighter now and the new balance was more than slightly disconcerting. Once he had walked back and forth across the room a few times without tripping, he pushed the rock door aside and walked out.

The hallway was narrow, moist, and dark with only a handful of torches lining the walls. Ed paused while his eyes adjusted. The passageway had an earthier, less lived-in smell that the room behind him lacked. The ground beneath him was slimy and more like mud than floor; Ed grimaced when he felt something slide over his foot. Yet, for all these sensations, he couldn't hear anything, and even when his eyes fully adjusted there was no small glimmer of light that might lead to fresh air and freedom. Having absolutely no information to go on, Ed chose to start walking right on a whim.

The first thing he realized was that wherever he was, it was big. In ten minutes he passed eight corridors that branched off, and his own path twisted around and merged with another corridor. Periodically he stopped to push up on the low ceiling to test if there were any chance that it might give way. Even dressed as he was, in pants and a thin vest, he would rather brave the cold outside than stay trapped in here. He began to wonder just how Winry had survived. Ed had crawled through his share of cramped tunnels in his lifetime, and still the current labyrinth he was in made him itch and feel claustrophobic in a way nothing ever had. Maybe it was being underground where the air was thick and it felt like it could run out at any moment, leaving him to suffocate. Or it could very well be the severe lack of natural light; nothing getting in gives one the sense of nothing being able to get out. Either way, it was creepy and Ed's desire to escape and return home grew with each passing minute. To take Winry away from this place…to bring her home to Anna and Ryan…he wanted that more than anything.

Shaking his head to regain focus, Ed stopped and leaned against the wall. He was out of breath from only walking; his body definitely hadn't recovered yet. Plus, if he kept going he wasn't sure he'd be able to find his way back, and he didn't relish the idea of wandering this maze for hours until he bumped into someone by chance. With his luck, it would probably be someone unfriendly. He had just made the decision to turn around when there was a clang and a yell up ahead. It was a split second debate. He didn't desire a run-in with an Ishvalan, but he had to start drawing a mental map of this place if he wanted to escape. The answer was clear; he trudged up the path toward the noise.

Not two minutes later the tunnel opened up into a large, well-lit cavern. Ed thought it was comparable in size to his workshop where they built experimental planes. This cavern held four planes, all in various states of completion. The commotion he'd heard earlier seemed to have been caused by the plane nearest to him; about eight workers had gathered around a lump of metal. The wing of the plane had fallen off. Ed gave a derisive snort.

"You could do better, I'm sure." Ed only jumped a little. To his left was Reiran, face smudged with oil and tapping a clipboard against his shoulder.

"I'm sure," Ed said, trying to let the confidence in his voice outshine his startled jump.

"These men aren't trained engineers."

"Clearly," Ed drawled, thinking back to his days as a teenager and trying to shift back into that attitude of indifference.

"A trained engineer, especially a state certified one, would do wonders for our fleet."

"Four planes don't make a 'fleet'."

"You could help us make more."

"I won't."

"Why? Surely Winry has told you—"

"Winry hasn't seen all I have. I'm not going to help you start a war against my home, where my children live."

"I don't want to hurt your children." For the first time, Ed really looked at Reiran. His jaw was set and shoulders were back with his arms folded behind him. His eyes bore straightforward into Ed's, baring himself, sure he was righteous. A picture of Scar floated up from his memory. It crossed Ed's mind that he might be telling the truth. But…

"Even if you truly only want an army for protection, to make enemies of Ishval think twice before attacking, I don't think your comrades share your ideals."

"You'll have plenty of time to change your mind, as Winry did." Ed gave a short laugh.

"Have you forgotten who I am? I am the specialist in aircraft, and a trusted member of the Investigations Department in Central. Not to mention that Roy Mustang has been working on the 'Ishvalan Terrorist Case' for months now, and if there's the slightest chance my department hasn't noticed I'm missing, then he has, and knows where to start looking. I'm betting that the Briggs soldiers are already swarming this mountain, and you've heard the rumors about them, yeah?" Ed turned to leave, wanting very much to end the conversation.

"Alchemists are supposed to work for the people, not the state," Reiran said it with so much venom that Ed paused mid-step. He twisted his torso around to glance at Reiran.

"Ishvalans don't care for alchemy, or alchemists."

"That doesn't change the fact that you're turning your back on your own creed."

Ed tried to squash the guilt that started to bubble up as he shrugged and said,

"I'm an engineer."

He felt a debt of gratitude was owed to his memory; he was able to find his way back to Winry's without hassle. When he did he flopped down on the furs, using Den's body as a pillow. He felt more exhausted than he had any right to. Reiran had just stirred up Izumi's words, and her utter disgust of the military. What would she say now, knowing that Edward had refused to help Ishvalan refugees? Not refugees, he corrected, terrorists. And treating their injuries was a far cry from being an accomplice to war. He would gladly help true refugees in need of care. Schools, hospitals, everything…just everything in Ishvalan-occupied Amestris were third-rate. Ed closed his eyes, recalling pictures from the newspapers. When he got back, got settled, he'd take Ryan, Anna, and Winry and they'd go fix up a place. With his and Al's skills combined, they could fix up a whole town in less than a week. His wages were more than enough to buy new schoolbooks…Yes, he decided, we'll do that.

Feeling a little less guilty now, Ed slipped into a daze of half-sleep for…well he didn't know how long. He jerked fully awake when Winry called his name, stepping through the doorway carrying dinner wrapped in a towel. She set it in front of him and knelt down, holding a candle to his face and checking his wounds.

"Looking good," she said, a small smile spreading on her face.

"You're not," Ed replied honestly. The cut by her eye was still oozing green and red, and everything else looked to be caked in dirt.

"Aren't you the flatterer today?" Winry mocked and untied the cloth of food. "Eat up."

"You first," Ed all but growled.

"I'm not all that hungry," Winry smiled gently.

"Winry," He put on his sternest, newly developed 'father-voice', and wrapped a hand around her bicep, what used to be the thickest part of her arm. His hand encircled it too easily.

"Ed, I just want to sleep. Please." She lay down and curled up with her back to him. Den scooted off to the side. "When I was done tending the wounded, Reiran had me help with one of the planes. One of the wings had fallen off. I'm completely drained."

Ed, who had just started to take a bite of bread, stopped. His insides were suddenly cold.

"You put it back on?"

"Well, put them on the right track anyway. I don't know a whole lot about planes, they're so new. But I do know how to make one part of a machine attach to another."

"Do you do that often?"

"When asked." Winry tried to pull Ed's free arm over her side, but he didn't give it.

"You're helping them built their fleet?" Winry turned her head to look at him.

"It's only for defense," she said simply.

"Even if you and Reiran believe that, there's no way defense is the intention of the group. As soon as one of those things flies, there'll be a mutiny."

"Reiran's a strong leader, I don't think—"

"He's either blind, or trying to play us." Oh how he was trying to keep his voice level. Winry sat up now.

"Did he come by while I was gone?"

"I went out. Looking for an escape. I found their setup. Reiran asked me for help and I refused. But, I do think we can get out that way."

"No," Winry shook her head, "It's always guarded and neither of us is in a condition to fight."

"It was the only way I found, unless you know another way out of the labyrinth they've built into the mountain." Winry shook her head again.

"Not that I've seen."

"Then there's no choice. We'll just go out the front door." Winry looked at him for a few moments. Then a few more moments. Too long.

"No," she said.

"No? Don't you want to leave?"

"These people still need my help!"

"What about me, what about Ryan and Anna?" Ed's tentative control snapped at last. "We need you! For God's sake, Winry! We thought you were dead, doesn't—" he stopped. An all too familiar burning sensation had started behind his eyes.

"Of course I want to go home," Winry's voice was deep, hurt. "I haven't thought of anything else since I got here. I just can't, I can't leave yet. You can go."

"I'm never leaving you again," said Edward firmly, and just the memory of how he'd been feeling a month ago made him want to retch.

"I just need to help them a little while longer."

"There's no way those planes are simple defense!" White flashed behind his eyes that corresponded with pulses of rage. "When they get those things running the first thing they're going to do is get revenge. Where do you think they'll go first? Central! Ryan, Anna, Grace, even Roy are all going to be in danger and you'll have helped put them in that situation! How can you be so stupid?" Ed regretted his choice of words immediately. Winry's eyes turned sharply on him, sparkling with anger in return.

"I'd never do anything to hurt them. I know you can't see it, but I am actually helping, Edward Elric." Ed couldn't help but cringe at the use of his full name, but his interest was piqued now.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just...eat your dinner." Winry lay back down and rolled over with a huff. Recognizing that he wasn't going to get any more out of her, Ed slumped, fuming.

"So, you're not leaving."

"Right."

"Then, we wait for Roy?"

"We wait for Roy."


End file.
